CASA and the Carnival

CASA stands for Court Appointed Special Advocate. I am a CASA volunteer and I work with a child who has been removed from her mother and placed and with CPS. I am the "voice" of the child. I search and research out the best possible options for the child. I present these options to the court and the judge uses my presentation to help him make his decisions. It is an awesome and resposible job that gives back a lot of fulfillment in the process.

I have only been a volunteer for about 1 1/2 years. I am still working on the same case at this time, but when this one is resolved (and hopefully that will be in the next six months) I will take on another case. I say I hope this one resolves because when a case resolves it means the child has a permanent home and hopefully that is where the child can grow and mature in the best situation.

CASA is having their summer carnvial tomorrow. We did last year's carnival and although it was hot and seemed a long morning, it was a great event. We have a booth and last year the booth was not that exciting. I am hoping this year's booth is fun! We are doing picture taking. I enlisted the help of my son-in-law and my husband to build me a backdrop and have the kids put their face in the body of a mermaid or a sea monster and we will take their picture. I hope to have pictures put here on Monday for you to see what I am talking about.

I am just praying the rain holds off tomorrow. Not that rain would be all that bad, especially a little sprinkle to cool things down but I am afraid my backdrop could run if it rains. We did it in acrylic paints and I don't want to lose the picture!

Have a great weekend. I plan to.

I Am Late

I am late for work this morning. I don't really have a definite time to get to work, but I do try to get there by 10:00. I only work on Tuesdays and Thursdays and this morning I am going to be late.

I am working on a backdrop for taking pictures at the CASA carnival this Saturday. My son-in-law is to come today, I think this evening, and paint the picture. I want a beach scene with a mermaid and a sea monster. I will cut out the faces of them and have the children put their face in place and take a picture. Then they will have the picture to take back with them.

I will write more tomorrow and explain more on CASA and what we do and what I have learned from doing it. Also, some comments on a book I am now reading. Interesting things happening, come back and share with me.

I Fixed It

The fuse was the ac problem. I popped out the old fuse and put in a new fuse. The air was cold and it blowed hard! It cost a whole $1.28 to fix. Thank you, Lord.

No New Revelations

There are no new revelations this morning. My eyes are dry, my tears have stopped but I have a huge headache. I am not looking forward to putting my headache in a hot car, but I only have to go to the bank, the auto store for a fuse (that will hopefully fix the ac), and to work. Then after work I have a hair appointment. Interesting day coming!

What Am I Doing Wrong?

I think I have posted in the past regarding my challenge my daughter and her boyfriend gave to me to ask God for the money for my dental surgery. If you have been reading lately, you know that not only did I not get the money provided, but the same amount needed was required for our van before vacation. My question then was did I not pray right or was God not listening or misunderstand me?

Now my question today is what is God trying to tell me? We loaned our van to our kids, long story with some strong feelings there, but at any rate, I was to drive our 1972 Olds Cutlass convertible for the next few days. (Pictured here). That is not a real problem other than it is hard to start when it has not been driven in a long while and if it is raining or bad weather, we don't like to get it out. There was hesitation when we thought the hurricane Emily was coming our way but when she was headed to Mexico it was going to be okay to drive.

I did drive "Bessie" today and she did fine until I got in her to come back home. The air conditioner stopped working. That usually would not be a problem except for the fact that July and August in Southeast Texas are the hottest times of the year. For the few miles I had to travel, I was dripping wet with sweat by the time I got home. Mainly, it is just frustrating.

Then my frustration is stronger when I have planned for over a month now to do a backdrop for my CASA carnival this Saturday and have asked my family to help me with it. Of course, now that I don't have the van, I have been asked to wait until Thursday to get the plywood and then it will be painted. I am not the person who waits until the last minute. Then my darling dear husband who left town this morning suggested that we could still take the pictures even without the backdrop. Sounds easy, but the tears have been flowing for the rest of the evening. I politely and as calmly as I could, let him know that I told my committee I would have a backdrop and the idea I had for the backdrop and I'll be darned if I don't have the backdrop, one way or another, if I have to buy one.

So...my question today is what I am suppose to be learning here Lord? I have asked for help and it seems I am getting no where? Everything seems to be turning toward me rather than for me. I don't like to feel sorry for myself, but I am having a hard time today trying to figure all this out. And the best I can do today is to cry and go to bed.

So, hopefully, I will have brighter eyes and emotions in the morning and God will provide some answers for me.

Back in the Saddle

Well, I am back in the saddle again. I am doing great from my dental surgery, ready to get the stitches out tomorrow but not pain and feeling okay.

My company came and went. They were to be here for several more days, but due to circumstances at their church, needed to get back to services on Sunday and take care of things there. I understand. Saddened, but I understand. It was great to have them here. They seem to always enjoy themselves and relax and soak in the gentleness of our sweet time together. I soak them in and wish for the wisdom they both have.

I have a mission this week. I am calling our family doctor with questions and hopefully get some answers to questions that are plaquing me. We need to know if Tollie needs an ENT doctor or an audiologist. Also, if we can get a PET on him done in the near future. Tollie had a melanoma years ago and now with history in the family of a brain tumor (his dad), I want to do preventive things to protect his health. So......hopefully, I will get some answers this week.

Today was a great day at services. Jerry did a great job on a sensitive topic and after my prayer before arriving, I did okay and in fact am quite proud of myself. I have some issues and I am working on them and God is helping me focus on them.

Jamie is leaving today for Dallas for a conference for school. Tollie leaves for Tyler in the morning for his usual monthly trek. I am staying home and will work on Tuesday. I have started my new book, (recommended by Gina to read) called Now, Discover Your Strengths. I am anxious to find my strengths and then try to find my ninch in my work environment and with my church family. I also got the book "Blue Like Jazz" that I have read so many reading and I will try to finish my books, Set Me Free and the other by Cecil Hooks that has the writings of Carl Ketcherside and Leroy Garrett in them.

I also need to go get my plywood today. This is the last day to have Tollie here to help me with it. Then, I need to get Paul over here to start working on it and we will get it done by this weekend.

Have a great week, I plan to.

Swollen but feeling okay

I woke up this morning with a tight jaw, tight cheek and tight neck. I am swollen from my dental surgery and it looks like Tollie slugged me in the jaw. But I feel okay. I was real tired yesterday but feeling much better today.

Thanks for the prayers for my recovery and the calls and well wishes. I have spent the last two days sitting in a chair, watching TV and cross stitching. Today, though I have to get the house ready for company.

I have company coming!!!! My best friend in all the world is coming to see me. They will be here this evening and I have to clean the bathrooms, clean the floors and get ready for them to be here. I have to work in the morning, ugh!!! But I have to go because I have not been in two weeks and I have to get some hours in so we can eat!!! But that will give them time to sleep in and take their time enjoying the quiet. Sometimes you just need to get to a new location and veg out. I hope they will enjoy that. I can see them now, sitting on the porch and enjoying the morning with their coffee and book. That's what they like.

I want to thank God for the good report my friend had from her biopsy. Everything was benign. No more surgery. That is a relief.

I hope to get back to blogging regularly and insightfully next week. My friends will leave Monday morning, Tollie will leave for Tyler Monday morning and I will be here all alone. That might be a blessing! So.....until next week have a great week and weekend. See you then.

Okay

Well, we are back home from vacation. I want to tell you lots about our vacation but I don't want to dis Tennessee. However, we were very disappointed in Tennessee. We took the grandkids to the zoo and after paying an arm and a leg to get in, we found there were no girafees, the elephants had a sort of new home and you could not see them very well, the zebras and antelope were so far removed you could not see them. We did see lots of birds and some monkeys. It was a pretty walk through the one section where the bamboo was growing and the trees were thick, but that was about all the good we can say about the Nashville Zoo.

And then the hotel in Nashville was so tiny it was hard to fit four adults in much less two children to boot. But we made it through. We took the kids to the Adventure Science Center and it was great but there were so many kids there it became almost scary to try to keep up with our own. It was over stimulating. In fact, I noticed just before we left that Ashton, my oldest grand daughter was running from event to event without really stopping. It was like she was running on overload and didn't know how to stop. I began to notice as we were leaving that many of the other kids were doing the same thing.

The planaterium was okay but the video they showed was about light pollution, not about the stars. We went to see stars and astronomy, not astrology. So.....needless to say Nashville is not the place for us to vacation again.

We spent one night in Memphis and it was great. The hotel room, (same brand as in Nashville) was so roomy and spacious. It was great. I think if we ever go back that way, which we probably will since in-laws live in Kentucky, we will probably do Memphis and bypass staying in Nashville.

It was good to spend some time with the in-laws. They are trying to recoup and doing well considering the surgery Gene went through. But he has a long way to go. I think we need to go back sometime and help them clean out the yard, barn and garage and take away some of the things they no longer need. Another time we will do that.

Can you believe we were with our daughter, son-in-law and two grand children for a whole week and we came back in one piece and all were happy. I will say that by the end of the last day we were all tired. Afterall we had traveled from Memphis to Beaumont. We really made good time considering we did not leave Memphis until noon. We arrived in Beaumont, after leaving the kids off in Lumberton, about 11:00. So we really did well. It was a good vacation.

Considering gas prices rising as we traveled, a hurricane coming in where we had been and no money to really spend on vacation, we did really well.

I said earlier I would let you know how my challenge to not put my dental surgery on the credit card went. Well.....my surgery is in the morning and I have no resources but the credit card. Unless God chooses to send me some money that I don't know about, I will be putting the cost on the credit card. If you read my blog you will see that two days before we left for vacation, we had to put the van in the shop and it cost about $900. Is it me or is it odd that the amount I was asking God to provide me with was the same as the cost of having the van fixed. Did I have a bad connection to heaven? Did God misunderstand my need and charged me the amount I was asking for?

Of course I am saying all this in jest and know quite well that God does provide and it will work out. Just not like I had hoped and not sure I understand what I am suppose to do with the challenge. But I still have a strong faith and I know that in the end, it will all work out. I just have to laugh sometimes to keep from crying.

This week will be good inspite of having dental surgery tomorrow. My best friend in all the world is coming to see me on Thursday. It will be a good week.

Back Home

I am back home. Have been using today to attend a funeral, catch up on washing clothes, taking a nap and now reading blogs and writing my blog.

Not sure I will get everything done today but trying to take it easy.

I will write more, when I am in a writing mood about the vacation. I really need to consider my words and what I write about so I don't upset or dis anyone!

Rained this afternoon and made for a great nap time.

Getting back into the swing of things takes time. Will see you again tomorrow!

The Challenge!

I just had to blog this!

God has always taken care of us. We have yet to go hungry. We've never not paid our debts -- maybe late but never missed payments.

We have certainly had our challenges in life. The week I found out I was pregnant with our first daughter, Tollie had a pay cut. We made it though it was tight for a while. About a year later, we looked into a move. Good thing because the day we flew to the interview, Tollie was let-go from his job. So....we moved 630 miles -- to the armpit of Texas. Certainly not our first choice, but home.

After being in our new home for a year or so, we were faced again with a let-go. Tollie had been told of a company move and he would move, but then after we came back from vacation, everything had changed and he would not be moving with the company. Tollie called a business acquaintance concering a possible job. He was willing to hire Tollie, in fact anxious to have him join his company, but he did not have any openings at the level Tollie was at. Tollie accepted the job anyway, knowing two things. First that any job is better than no job and secondly, it is easier to get a job if you are currently working. Tollie was called after a couple of days and asked by his new employer if he had been praying. With an emphatic "yes", he was informed that a great job opened up and it was offered to him. Tollie thankfully accepted -- giving all the thanks to God. I guess you could say it was a "God thing" as Tollie has been with the company for almost 30 years.

I could recount other stories -- like our buying a house, a dream house, that worked like it was meant to be. Or the time we were living on credit cards and decided that was not smart and melted all the cards. I was not certain how we would buy groceries the next month. Like I said -- we have never gone hungry!

So believe me, I know God takes care of us. I know He will provide our needs, even the wants at times. So it didn't seem that difficult when Mindy's boyfriend, Trent, (through Mindy) challenged me to allow God to work out the payment for my dental surgery. I had planned to put the charges on my credit card and in our talking, Mindy encouraged me to trust knowing God would provide a way. Sure, I thought! We are going on vacation and I will trust that he will find a way.

This week has not be a good week. Satan has been very active! First of all, a payment I had anticipated coming in and was going to use for vacation, has not arrived. So....savings will be pilfered for the cash for vacation. Then yesterday, I was headed downtown and as I entered the freeway, the "service engine soon" light came on and the van started running rough at the same time.

Rememeber, this is the van we are taking on vacation, in the morning! I went to the Ford dealer closest to me and they could not take it. So I travelled 20 miles to Mid-County and am sitting here now --- telling my tales. They will get to it this afternoon, so I am waiting on a ride back to my home. I figure the cost is going to be between $250 to 350$. I am guessing an oxygen sensor has gone bad.

So I am tyring to figure out where that money is coming from as well as the $950 for my dental surgery, when we return.

I have even suggested we not go on vacation! However, we are going to check on my husband's parents. This is important -- my father-in-law had brain surgery a couple of months ago. So really there is not the option of not going.

The Lord is going to have to figure all this out, as I see no way of not using the credit card. Stay tuned to find out how He works it all out!

Going on Vacation!

Monday came and went and I didn't even get to post! It has been a crazy day and I think today will be just as crazy. We are trying to get ready to go on vacatin and I am not taking the time to post in the next few days of prep. So.....I will be gone from this post for a little over a week. I am trying to think of everything for vacation and even think for my husband and grown children, who are going with us! That is taking up most of my time these days.

Also, it is at the end of the month and I have CASA reports to do and I am working today and I am already tired before really getting started. I wish I had some help but I know they, my husband and child, don't think like I do and don't prepare like I try to do. So.....I will continue to try to think for them and just not get upset. I was hoping we could leave early Thursday morning, but now I realize it may be noon before we get out of here and that will be okay. Well, not really okay but it will be okay. We have a long way to go that first day, all the way to Tusculoosa, Alabama and with kids traveling with us, it will be a long day.

I will not be posting for probably the whole time we are away. So see you in a little over a week and happy summer to you.

I will explore those things I am thinking and mulling around when I return. Hope you return with me.

35 Years Today!

I was a teen in love. I was goo-goo-eyed over the tall handsome, blue eyed boy that was my friend in band. We laughed a lot. We kissed a lot! We even cried when we discussed the differences in our "religions." We were both cofc but he was from the background of non sunday school and I was just your regular cofc. We made decisions based on much prayer and communication. We worked through our understandings at the time to emerge stronger and more in tune with each other and our faiths. We found our own ground in the Lord, standing together.

My how time flies! It was only yesterday it seems that I was standing at the altar, singing with this young man who made my heart flutter at the slight look, or the touch of the hand on my arm. We were so in love.

The greatest thing, we are still in love. In fact that love has so matured and grown that even when we are angry, sad, irritable, we still love each other. There is so much security in our relationship. We still enjoy each other's company and I still get a flutter when he touches me. We share so much. Our lives, our hopes, our dreams and our hearts.

I sometimes worry that my larger body bothers him, but he assures me we are both different and have changed over the years. We are happy to be in the same room together, whether we are talking, watching TV, reading in bed, or sitting on the porch and watching it rain. We are in sync. We love each other. We play well together. We were made for each other!

Thank you God for the treasure in Tollie that you gave me 35 years ago. I pray I have polished and nurtured and loved this treasure and that you will give me more than 35 more years to love this man.

No Time Today

I don't have much time today. I have to go to work and publish our pictorial directory. It is ready to go to print and it will probably take a couple of hours to print, cut and bind it. But I think it will be well worth the effort to put pictures of "our family" in the hands of all the members. When you merge two churches together, there are two separate families and we need every tool available to get us to one family.

I have some thoughts rolling around and will probably spend some time on Monday exploring these thoughts and hope you come back then to explore with me.

Tomorrow is 35 years! Wow, that is a long time to be with the same man. I am madly in love with my best friend. That is the fun stuff.

Till Monday!

Communication

I have been concerned, over the past few weeks, for the health of my mate. Tollie has not felt well from a cough that has lasted a long time and wears him out. He has gone to the doctor and is on medication. Part of the problem is the medication tends to smooth him out.

Our daughter noticed and brought to my attention recently that Tollie seems to "fade" when in a crowd. I had noticed it but her mention seemed to magnify what I already felt.

So.....we had a talk last night. A short one, not serious, not deliberate, but just talking. I voiced my concerns and he listened and we discussed possible causes and problems. Did we find solutions? Not really. Only possible solutions.

So why do I feel better today? We connected by our discussion. And the connection was more important than answers to our questions. Communication does connect us.

I know I need to be better at communication with my brothers and sisters at church as well. I have so long isolated myself for fear of hurt. My old tapes play and I don't want to go down that road again so I gently go on my merry way and watch from the sidelines. But this is not enough! I have to get in the game and bring along side me those in my circle and communicate/connect. Words are very powerful.

Back Ache, Work

I have a back ache this morning and have to go to work. For me, this is a choice. I only work two days a week and sometimes the two days seem like two long weeks. We are getting ready to go on vacation and I am ready. I seem to take all day to get a few things done. I want to think it is the summer heat keeping me down, but I am not sure what is happening.

Could I be getting lazy? I hope not, but I sure need to a get a fire under me. I just seem to get the have to things done and then sometimes not even that. Hopefully, today will be filled with getting a lot done. So.....I guess I better get started.

Drought in Texas

We are having a drought. It has not rained in a week and the temp has been in the mid 90's and the humidity has been down as low as 40% for a whole day. That is really unusual for Southeast Texas. It started out being hot, mid 90's in June. That usually doesn't happen until the end of July and August. It makes us wonder what it will be like in August! Hotter!?! I sure pray we get some relief soon.

Have you ever had a drought in your spiritual life? A time when there seems to be a ceiling right over your head that prayers cannot penetrate. A time when prayers come few and far between. A time when others around you are smiling and enjoying life and all you have is a gray cloud right over your head, causing the downturn of your mouth. A "mood" that cannot be laughed away. A funk so funky, you wonder if it will ever get better.

I have been in a spiritual drought for several years. We had a wonderful family where we had worshipped for 20 years. It seems that "family" turned inward and no matter how hard we tried to fight it, we could not get past perceptions. Perception or impression is an attitude or understanding based on what is observed or thought........often without knowing facts. There were people who perceived we had a belief contrary to our lives. But their perception was real to them. They could not get past it and everything they said or did was filtered through this perception.

It happens with teens. It happens between husbands and wives. It happens in churches. A perception can be so strong as to accuse, destroy, or be libal against another person.

I have finally begun to emerge from my drought. Little by little, the rain is quenching the thirst. It has been in spurts, not a deluge of a storm so I cherish every minute of the sprinkles. I think I need to change my perception as well! I can't accuse others of filtering through their perceptions without realizing I have my own.

Will it be hot in August? You bet, but can I depend on it being hotter than now because my perception is that if it is already hot in June it will be hotter in August?

What are your perceptions that need to be changed?

Summer is Here!

Summer is certainly here and is unusally hot and dry in Beaumont. In fact, yesterday I noticed the clock I have outside in the back yard had a dial that read DRY. It was far removed from the humid point and very noticably different position than usual. I watered the yard all day long and each time I moved the water to a new location, it smelled like I remember in Lubbock when it would rain. We are DRY! Please, Lord, send rain.

I enjoy spring the best. I think one of the reasons I enjoy it so much is the newness of everything. The plants come out with new buds, the birds are busy making new families, and the weather is so pleasant, especially after a hard winter. I think the best part is the chance to make new again.

I am so thankful my Lord gives me the chance to make new again, every day. I am still enjoying the blogging and it is certainly summer because this morning every blog I checked that I normally read had nothing new to day. Everyone of them! So......that tells me everyone is enjoying the outdoors and vacationing and taking time off.

Praise God my brother-in-law was able to go to work yesterday and actually stayed until the afternoon. He is doing well. Thank you Lord for this encouraging time for them. I ask for more good days than bad. They have had enough bad.

Sunday, then Monday

Wow! That is one word to describe how Sunday went. I was a little nervous about my sis and her husband going to services with us for the first time since the merge. But I can say now that it was a good thing.

I am proud of what we are doing. I am assured, at least by them, that we seem to be doing things well. That always helps.

It was a very emotional service. The minister did the Daddy's song sermon. He did a great job. We were all okay until someone went forward for their wayward child. Then it began to happen. When I put my arm around my sis, she lost it and so did T. That is the first time I have seen or heard him cry for his lost son.

You see, his son is not lost in the deaths sense but in the lost spiritual sense. Their son, my nephew has chosen to live his life in contradiction to everything he was raised to believe. He has chosen to denounce his family and have not contact with them. My heart aches for my sis but my heart aches for lost D. I pray for him often and I need to pray for him more.

There were tears today, but there was a connection today. It was a great service.

Company has gone home today. We have laughed, cried and enjoyed our time and now we have to get back to a routine for another week. Have a great week! I will.

The Lord's Day

Sunday! The Lord's Day. The day we meet with our brothers and sisters in Christ and worship the heavenly father in a more dedicated and formal way. I say this as I am exploring the reason, the whys and wherefores of corporate worship.

I have concluded not to call the time worship time, as I am trying to make every momont of time my worship to God. I don't like to call it church, because people are the church, not a building. So I am trying to conclude in my own mind exactly what to call this time where we meet as a family. Family time! Hummmmm, has possibility.

This will be the first time my sis and her husband have gone to services with us since the merger. It will be interesting to hear feedback from an "outsider", an open but cofc outsider.

Will let you know how today goes.

Reading!

I am now reading a book by Cecil Hook, actually, he only put it together. The book is really written by Leroy Garrett and Carl Ketcherside. It is about "our" heritage in the cofc.

There are several things in this book that have spoken to me. The realization that the restoration movement was much like today in that there were opinions being stated as "scriptural" and people used their own beliefs and interpretations to judge others' standing with God. Nothing new under the sun! Yet, they pursued to change things. One statement Garrett makes concerning Thomas Campbell towards the end of chapter 2 is that Thomas set forth unity principles. "The church, he insisted, is by its very nature one, and cannot help but be one, if it be God's church." There is no truer statement and yet it seems to be hard to accomplish and learn. If only we could come to some understanding of this statement!

Another statement in chapter 3 which caught my eye was Campbell's thesis which stated, "private opinions are not to be made the basis of Christian communion." It readily conceded that there would be differences of opinion in interpreting the scriptures, and this would not be discouraged. "Opinions are private property, and a man was entitled to as many as he desired. But he was not to make his opinion a test of fellowship or make his own interpretations a means of judging others."

These two statements are large to me. This is the crux in my mind as to what is happening in the cofc today, which is turning people out rather than bringing them in. We must make certain it is God who decides who is in or out, not us. Ketcherside's mantra became "Wherever God has a child, I have a brother or sister." And when asked about accepting "brothers in error", he would reply, "That is the only kind of brothers I have!"

We are all sinners and we should all be searching. The minute I think I have arrived, I think I have failed. So come along with me on this journey down the searching path and I would love to hear what you think about these musings and other topics.