I APOLOGIZE!

This is my apology. I apologize to my husband for not being the person he married!

Now, that may seem a little strange to some of you. I have been married to the greatest husband a wife would ever hope for. We have been married for 36 years. My love today is more tender and deeper than all those years ago.

I am not the person he married both physically, emotionally, spiritually, and intellectually and any other way I could not think of. I don't think I am suppose to be! But.......my apology comes mainly from the physical standpoint.

You see, I was a young, slender, long blonde haired beauty to my prince charming. Life has a way of changing all this over time. Having babies can change a woman's body to proportions she never dreamed were possible! Three pregnancies with two resulting children can do things, both physically and emotionally to scar and weigh up on a person. That is where my apology lies.

I apologize to Tollie for not being the physical beauty he married! I have allowed my laziness and control issues and fneed to comfort with food to disrupt my ability to stay physically attractive! I have done this. I am the one responsible for not walking, not exercising, not watching what I eat, but eating whatever I want and watching it too closely! I am the one who has decided everyday that I get up to eat and eat and eat.

I am trying to change this. As Dr. Laura would say, no don't try, just do it! So....I will do it! I am being conscious of everything that goes into my mouth and making decisions, better decisions, I hope. Again, I am trying to be realistic and eat some of the things I like, but not all the time. We will see where this gets me and who is really in control ~ me or food!

But there you have my apology. Since I have not written a blog in so long, I am not sure if and when Tollie will see this. But that is okay. It was more for me than for him. I needed to say it and I think he will want to hear it. So.....stay tuned!