AFTER MIDNIGHT

It is after midnight and we are, well let's make that clear, I am still waiting and watching. Unfortunately, my sister does not have cable. So.....I am on the computer searching for any recent news concerning Rita.

I found a website out of Houston for a TV station and it has helped feed me some of the information. I should just go to bed and wait till morning, but it is my home we are talking about. I want to know how the house fared. But in reality I won't know until someone goes home and checks everything out.

The best news to hear to night is that Rita is 30 miles southeast of Port Arthur. Wow! Southeast is good news. We live on the west end of Beaumont. Beaumont is northwest of Port Arthur. So that means we are on the west side of the eye wall. That could mean less damage, less rain and wind. I have to remember that Rita is very large and there will be some damage, but by being on the west side, there is less chance of tornadoes and the wind comes from the north, not the south.

I have hope. I am clinging to that hope.

LUNCH, A NAP!

It is amazing how lunch and a nap can give you a different perspective.

I awoke this morning around 7:00 am. I had a restful night. I did wake several times during the night but that is to be expected since I am in someone else's bed. But each time I woke, I was able to go right back to sleep without much effort, a definite difference from the night before! So I did get a good night's rest.

When I got up this morning I turned on the TV to check the progress of Rita and bam! The I-45 tragedy struck me full force and the tears started flowing. I felt exhausted and cried at every word out of my mouth. I went ahead around 9:30 and showered and dressed for the day with a headache the size of a watermelon and just about has heavy.

My sister called about 11:00 am from her work and we all went to lunch. I tried not to dominate the conversation with our concerns and it was an enjoyable lunch. We came back to the house, me and Tollie and both fell in a restful afternoon nap.

I awoke an hour later, no headache and much clearer eyed. I feel much better.

Hurricane Rita has downgraded to a 3. She is still going to be large and dangerous and it was a good thing that we left. We have made some decisions that I feel good about. The first decision made this morning was that we will only take the disabled couple back to Beaumont when we are assured they have their apartment with adequate electricity and their assistants are back to help them. Otherwise, we will encourage them to stay here where family can assistant them. We have a work friend who is closer to Beaumont where he evacuated to and we have made contact to ask him to check on our house. That way, we will be able to determine better when we can return and what we will be returning to find. With these decisions in place, I feel better.

Is is a control issue? Yes. We have laughed that Tollie tends to shut down and he will sleep most of the day. I get into gear in these situations and work my brain when my body can't do anything and solve all the problems. I really want to allow God to be in control and I am doing pretty well in that area. But my feelings of needing to be in control are there and I am trying to distinguish what is a feeling and what is an action in that area.

Thankful is the word of the day. Thankful we are here, thankful we have a place to lay our head and thankful my family is safe.

JUST WATCHING!

I am sitting in my sister's house, watching the news. I have a headache pounding in my head, making my eyes tear! Or maybe, the tears coming from my eyes are making my head hurt. At this point, it is hard to tell! It is all a blur, swirling around in my head, much like Rita!

I watch as Rita is swirling in the gulf, heading straight for my home. My home of 30 years. We have enjoyed the springs and falls. We have loved the trees. We came from west Texas where trees were sparse and the grass turned yellow in the winter. The trees, large trees with lots of shade are green all year round, because they are oaks. The grass is not as green in the winter, but stays green all year.

My home, where we added a front porch just two falls ago and have enjoyed sitting there, enjoying the rain or watching the kids play in the front yard. My rocker that came from Cracker Barrel, given to me at Christmas from my wonderful husband is sitting against the house, hopefully close enough to remain there.

I sit here wondering what to expect. I believe I will have nothing left when we return. Now I am second guessing about what I brought with me. Did I get everything I could? No, I had plenty of more room in the van. I could have taken so much more. But was it necessary. I almost got the genealogy stuff, but decided at the last minute to leave it. I have worked long hours searching for that information and why did I not get it? It was a decision and I was tired of trying to make those decisions.

Rita is swirling and my head is swirling. I am hopeful, I am here, I am safe, my family is safe and God is in control!

WE MADE IT!

We left Beaumont about 5:45 this morning with our little disabled couple in tow and we headed north. We were cruising along pretty well when we hit a stop north of Kountze. And I mean we came to a dead stop. It took us about 2 1/2 hours to reach Woodville, a trip that normally would take about 45 minutes to an hour. Which really when we hear the horror of the parking lot on I45, that is not too bad. After reaching that point, it was bumper to bumper but we were able to keep moving. They had finally called the mandatory evacuation and when they did that it opened all intersections to the north traffic. There were police directing traffic at all major intersections and we were able to go on through without a hitch. In fact after reaching Woodville, it seemed the traffic just kind of thinned out. We wondered where all the traffic went. But each time we came to a small town, the traffic would back up again and be slow.

We arrived in Dallas about 3:00 pm, tired but thankful. We left the couple at a motel in Lewisville and waited for their family to arrive. It was taking a long time for them to get there and we left about 4:30 to head to Arlington. We arrived at my sister's house about 5:30, read weary but in one piece.

Our oldest daughter left with her family about 9:30 pm last night and had planned to go 287 to Corsicana to her cousin's, but when they arrived in Woodville, 287 was closed to through traffic. So.....they had to go all the way to Lufkin and then go back down to Corsicana. They finally stopped for about an hour to sleep and then arrived there about 5:30 this morning. They are safe and sound.

Our youngest is safe and sound in Austin.

Where is Rita going? Only God knows at this time. I have had the feeling all day that I would not have anything to go back to. I'm not sure why, but when we walked out the door this morning, it felt like it would be the last time. Only God knows if that is going to happen. I have cried my tears and will cry more but I am okay with it! If we lose everything, we are still blessed and we have each other. That means more than any stuff!

I also had the feeling of a mother hen all night and this morning, wanting to gather my chickens under my wings and protect them. As soon as I knew Jamie and Paul and the girls were safe, I was okay. I then realized I was in the protection of my father and we would be fine.

I don't know about my neighbor. They were not going to leave, but when I talked to them this morning, they had decided to evacuate. So......not sure where they went or when the left. I just pray everyone gets out in time. It will not be good no matter where Rita decides to come ashore. There will be damage of some sort. We live north of I10. One report today said that if Beaumont takes a direct hit, we could get a storm surge of 20 feet and it could reach I10. That is hard to believe, but we will see.

Prayers are needed, especially for those on the roads in Houston and other areas where they are trying to flee. I am just so thankful we got out in time. Now it is all in the Lord's hands.

Hello Rita

Well, we are leaving. We are heading out in the morning around 5:00 am for Dallas. The handicapped couple have a hotel room in Dallas and we will go to my sister's in Arlington.

We are in hopes of beating the traffic tie ups leaving so early. The reports today were that the traffic from Galveston to Huntsville was a parking lot! We don't want that. We have been down that road before and it was miserable. Hopefully, we will be well on our way before the traffic gets too bad.

I pray for those who are staying. Tornadoes and trees don't mix well. Our neighbors are staying so I am not worried about our home. It is only a house and stuff. I have packed those things that I feel I cannot live without at this time. Pictures, projects I am currently working on this computer. Everything else should be able to be replaced. Not easy, but can be over time.

I pray for those who are more in the direct line of Rita. At least we are on the fringes, so far. Thanks for your prayers. We have no control over hurricanes and tornadoes, but we do know who is in control and for that reason we will be fine. My kids are leaving tonight and should be well on their way to my neices' house. So as along as we have our family safe, I will be okay.

Today has been hard. I am tired and teary but doing okay. The drive will be hard.

Hope to give you updates as I can. Salute from Southeast Texas.

Rita?

Well, Louisiana had their Katrina. Texas may have our Rita. At this point, it is looking more and more like we may have the big one come our way.

I am trying to think ahead and have contacted a niece who lives in Central Texas and we will probably go there if the need arises. We should know more about Thursday or Friday. Of course, anything can happen, as we know from Katrina. If Rita goes in east of us, we are okay, but anything west of us could spell danger, winds, tornadoes and rain, lots of rain. The last I heard today, it looked like it might be Galveston area, which is west of us. Depending on the category of the storm, it would affect us, just not sure how much. If it comes in at High Island, we are in more danger.

At this time, I am trying to determine what is of value, sentimental and what I should pack. We will have to decide if we take two vehicles or just one. This would also depend on the kids and what they want to do. They are north of us and may not have to evacuate. Later in the week, we will know.

I think everyone is much more on edge even here because of Katrina and the mess she left. We know it could be just as bad, although we are above sea level. That helps! My first priority is my pictures. I have albums and boxes of early movie tapes. They will go in first. Then there are some hand me downs from ancestors and they will need to be packed. Of course, the project I am working on now and others that are for later! The computer is a must! It has our life history on it!

My biggest concern is all the stuff in the yard we will have to move to the storage house or the garage. That will take some time. We are high here and I believe we will be okay, but we are taking no chances and if Rita decides to come visit, we will leave is she is anything more than a category 1. We have been through Bonnie and did okay. Anything more than 1 and we are out of here.

Will keep you updated on what I am taking and when we leave.

LIFE

Today was a good day. Worship to the Lord. I saw one of my children, but didn't get to see the grandchildren. That was the only bad of a good day!

Ashton woke up sick this morning and stayed home. Paul stayed with her and Emma. I was able to visit with Jamie. Didn't get to see my other child as she is in Missouri as I type this and should be back in Austin tomorrow. I am praying she had a great time while there, even though I feel certain she did! It will be good to hear from her and find out how the weekend went. She was to meet more of the family!

I have been busy this weekend working! Yes, working on the weekend, but at least it was a fun job. I am doing a history video for the company I work with. I have had fun creating this video, of course with the help of my dear husband. He is so good at this and I have enjoyed working on it. It will be presented this week at a rotary club breakfast in Port Arthur. It will be interesting to see how it all comes out.

Life is full of surprises and changes. I know I am constantly reminded how changes affect almost every minute of my day. I know changes can affect not only the individual life, but a marriage as well. I am praying for my daughter and son-in-law for changes that have been happening in their life to settle down a bit and give them some comfort. Everyone in a marriage struggles at times and they are no different. They are working on the struggle and that is what it takes.

I hope you have few struggles today and if you have any suggestions for a happy relationship, leave them here. I would love to hear from you.

Good Discussion! I am Learning

I have been having a good discussion lately with Travis Stanley concerning race issues. You can get to his blog at www.travisstanley.net. He has some good things to say and I am learning to be more passionate, but at this point, I think I am learning to ask good questions. That is really what I want to gain right now from blogging. Asking good questions, thought provoking questions that cause me to think and wonder and search out my own heart.

I want to be more compassionate for the poor and I hope to gain that as well as more knowledge on what God wants from me.

Have a great day!

Tollie and I are teaching a class on Sunday morning on Parenting. We only have a few people in our class. I was hoping for more in the class. Today was a good class. We talked about discipline and asked the members of the class to do some observing this next week and look for examples of what they think is good parenting and bad parenting. They are to be prepared next week to share what they observed.

We gave our examples today of bad parenting. Tollie had seen a woman at Mazzio's Pizza. She had the boy pinned down next to the building and slapped him across the face.

I had an example of a mother who tried to corral her 3 to 4 year old daughter and then out of the blue grab the child by the arm and start whooping her. Needless to say the child was surprised by the whooping and it was obvious the mother was either frustrated or angry or maybe even embarressed by the child's action and took out that feeling on the child.

We talked today about the fact that most, at least a lot of parents just go into parenting expecting to know how to parent without giving any thought or getting any instruction on how to parent. We looked at Hannah versus Eli on parenting in I Samuel. Hannah taught Samuel early on and when Eli had the boy and God called Samuel, he immediately obeyed the call. On the other hand, Eli scolded his sons and they were sinful and immoral. Eli waited too long to try to reign in his sons and it was too late.

Next week we will continue to talk about discipline and how that discipline involves training, instruction and molded the child.

WHO DO WE BLAME?

That seems to be the question of the day. Who do we blame? Was the mayor of New Orleans at fault? What about the governor? And then why did the President not do something sooner? Everyone seems to be pointing fingers in all directions. The Republicans are really pointing fingers at the governor and mayor of New Orleans.

My belief, for what it is worth, is that the governor of Louisiana did not do her job. Of course, I am only hearing what happened and I was not there. So I can only make a judgement on what I hear. I have heard that the President had to call the governor and suggest to have the National Guard move in there. My understanding is that the President cannot go into the boundaries of the state and make decisions. It is up to the state to ask the President for this help. That makes sense to me. So why didn't the governor call sooner and ask for help? Did she expect the government to come in after declaring the disaster before the storm? Did she just not know the procedure? As governor, why didn't she know and understand the procedure?

When I hear the governor talk on TV, she does not seem to have much presence about her. She is not an eloquent speaker. She seems to be in a cloud, which would be understandable. But it also seems to confirm that she did not take the leadership necessary. When you compare all the other areas hit by the same storm, it seems others fared better with the help. There are complaints all over and that is usual. The governor of Mississippi seemed to have the presence to take charge and got results.

I have heard it compared to 9-11 and that Mayor Guillani took charge and things got done quickly. I would suspect that any governor who takes charge and makes things happen, makes decisions, would help in a crisis. When a crisis happens, you need someone to take charge and be the leader. Someone who can coordinate all the different entities. Some say that putting FEMA under the homeland security was a mistake. I hope they re-do this decision if that is the case.

My main concern in discussing all this is that I want to know where the breakdown of communication occurred. Why? ~~ So that it can be fixed. I live on the gulf coast of Texas. But for the grace of God, we could have been hit by Katrina and we are likely to be hit by another hurricane in the future. And, more importantly, with the state of the current world, a terrorist attack could occur anywhere, at anytime. When something happens, will the crisis cause this much mis-communication? Could we be faced with an even greater disaster? How will the government respond? How will the local authorities respond?

This is my concern. We have a mentality in the US that we are the chosen country. We are immune to disasters and when something like Katrina hits, it wakes us up to the fact that we are not immune. But how we respond to these disasters say a lot about who we are as a people.

My biggest response to Katrina's disaster is how Louisiana is ready to party but not ready for a crisis. How can a state with so many Casinos bringing in so many dollars still be one of the poorest states in the nation? Where is all the gambling money going? Whose pockets are being stuffed with dough? If a city, such as New Orleans is so poor, how did it continue to function? How can we, as a people, justifiably build New Orleans back in the same manner? It should be re-thought and re-built in a manner that would not jeopordize people's lives. The devastation is just incredible.

All of our lives are changed by Katrina. We will not see our world in the same light as before. We are all affected by this storm.

__________________________

Just an update: I still don't have anyone in my home for shelter. I have tried to find a small family, but have not gone out myself. I have made a call and left my number but no takers to date. We are trying to do what we can, but mainly praying is all we are able to do. I am concerned now that I cannot take anyone in for two reasons. Tollie leaves town every month for his work and I don't want to be here by myself with strangers in my home and secondly, we are not sure of the time frame for their staying. We have other things happening in the coming months and I would not want to have to ask someone to leave for those things. I just pray everyday for all those misplaced by Katrina.

WHAT IS IN A NAME?

I grew up thinking that if a person was not part of a church of Christ, he/she was not a true Christian. I believe my parents still have some remnant of this belief. However, for me I have come to believe we were wrong in that assumption because.......

Would believing that make the church the point of salvation, not Christ?

Would believing that cause us to put ourselves on a pedestal and believe we had arrived?

Would believing that take my focus off Jesus and point that focus on myself?

Yes, I believe the answer to each of these questions would be yes!!!!!

I was looking at a web page of a church. In my looking, I realized I was looking to see "what kind of church" they were. Is that a valid question? It hit me that if they were focusing on Jesus and him crucified, then what did it matter what flavor they were? They may do things differently than I do. They may have a different structure to their organization than I do, but in the end if they are looking to Jesus for salvation and reaching for answers from God, then who am I to determine they are not correct? Who gave me the authority to do that?

I don't know where they hail from. They just call themselves The People's Church. We call ourselves Christ Covenant Church. I think we are trying to say that we are generic. We don't have specific traditions to cause us to act a certain way. We are just trying to follow Jesus. In following Jesus, we are trying to point others to him as the only way to true happiness.

I pray we are doing a good job of that. I pray that my giving up my own traditions for Jesus is what it is all about. Does it really matter how we do things, as long as, first of all we do them and secondly we point to Jesus in all we do?. Are the issues really that important?

In light of the events in the last few days, I would gesture to say we focus on to many human aspects of this life and toss the spiritual. I pray I focus more on the spiritual today and put aside my human tendencies.

Great Labor Day Weekend!

I started Friday by baking cakes. I made four cakes to take to the building on Saturday. 60 cakes were to be delivered on Saturday and 60 on Sunday for a shelter housed in Lumberton. It will feed about 200 people. This is our part of helping in the disaster. Of course, we have thousands in our city and this is a small part of helping out.

I keep thinking God will send someone to stay with us, but as yet, all my efforts to house someone has not met results. I keep praying about it, and will continue to do so.

I keep thinking about my sister and brother-in-law. Tommy preached yesterday to a congregation suffering from great loss. Losing four members in a church is hard. These were four of their core senior members. They will be suffering for a while.

On Saturday, we ran errands and I cooked for my family. Mindy came in Saturday evening and the little g-kids stayed the night with us. We had lunch here on Sunday and had a birthday party for Ashton on Sunday evening. Ashton's birthday is not until the 13th of this month but because Mindy could come this weekend, we decided to have her birthday. On the 13th, Ashton will be five years old. Where did the time go? She had a great time, getting a new bike, new clothes and a new Bible!

This morning, Mindy has already left for Austin. She has to work this afternoon and so had to be on the road early. We had breakfast and then she left. I am taking the time now to do my reading and blogging, before Tollie gets on the computer and works on his schooling. He has some things he needs to do this morning. Then my plan for the day is to relax and work on my projects to get them done. I am getting close.

Labor Day was always a fun day for me growing up, but I could never understand why taking the day off for Labor!?! It didn't make sense to me. It is always refreshing to have a day of rest from our labors and I appreciate God giving up Sunday. We use to have a group that would cook out together before we went to do our hospital ministry, but these days we are scattered and don't seem to have "time" for that sort of gathering any more.

Tollie and I started our parenting class yesterday. I was a little disappointed that we only had a couple of people there, but it was Labor Day weekend. I hope this is not indicative of the next few weeks. It will be a long 13 week series! We began by telling our "story" and asking each of them to do the same. In other words to tell the type of family they grew up in, how many years married, how many children, etc. Mindy came into our class and it was fun to hear her tell of her expectations for marriage and children and her rebellious teen years! We all had a good laugh.

We plan to cover many aspects of the family including marriage, child raising during the pre-birth on up to grown children. I pray God will use us to reach those who want to know what the Bible says concerning all this and also the experiences of others in these areas. I think it will be a fun class.

Have a great week and a laborless labor day!

LIFE CHANGES ON A DIME

I titled yesterday's post as Life is Changing. Boy is it ever!

Please pray for New York Avenue Church of Christ in Arlington, Texas. My brother-in-law is the minister there and my sister is the church secretary. Yesterday, three couples of their senior "Road Runners" group were traveling on a fun trip and had an accident in Crockett. One couple, Don and Bettie Davies died, Pat Parker died and her husband, Bill is in critical condition as he was airlifted to Tyler, Jack Chance died and his wife Dianne Chance was in the hospital but may have been released with minor injuries!

My sister said that Tommy had his sermon all planned out for Sunday. "Don't sweat the small stuff." Here are two crises, the hurricane and now the accident, As a church we need to stop worrying if we are clapping or raising hands. We just need to worship and worry about the world about us.

My heart bleeds for this family of God and for the families in crisis in New Orleans and all over the Gulf Coast. Many who are here in Beaumont are saying they are not going back to New Orleans. They have nothing to go back to and will start their lives over here or in a new place. Sometimes, I think it might be nice to start over without any baggage! Thank you God for the chances you give us to always start fresh with you and our lives.

LIFE IS CHANGING!

Life, as we know it, is changing all around. I see the devastation in the coastal region and I can’t fathom what is happening there. There seems to be no order. There seems to be no one in charge! No one that really knows what is going on! That is rare in our United States. But people are hurting and needing and when those hurts and needs are not met, people do strange and sometimes unthinkable things.

I can’t imagine shooting at a helicopter trying to rescue someone! That is unthinkable. But it happened. I can’t imagine taking things that don’t belong to me! But it is happening. I can’t imagine being so selfish as to walk past another’s need! But it is happening. I can’t imagine being so needful that I resort to these things. But it happens. Just because I have not ever had it happen to me, does not mean it does not happen nor that it could not happen to me at some time.

I remember the movie Trading Places and the bet the brothers made that if someone was rejected by friends and family and lost everything, they would turn to violence. It happened! We are base people and without Christ, we are hopeless. We lose everything and have no hope and we see these vile happenings.

I can sit in my clean, cool and comfortable home and watch on TV or type in my computer and sit in judgment on the people I am watching do these unthinkable things and say I would not do them. But in reality, I am not so sure that if I were in the same situation I would resort to whatever to meet my immediate needs! Especially, if I did not have the hope of Christ.

So I am trying real hard not to judge these people and realize that Christ is the missing link in their lives. Christ is the healer and need meter of all. Until I take Christ to these people, there will be these vile happenings.

UPDATE on CHARITY
I have not had anyone come into my home to date, to house during this crisis. I went to get my gift cards yesterday and took them to the church office. In talking with one of the ministers there, she had gone to the Ford Arena and they are not needing anything at this time. I told her and the others that I had thought about going out there and asking if there was a need for a young family to be housed and all I could think of was 1500 people all rushing to me to volunteer to come to my house!

The headlines would read: Another victim of Katrina ~ Woman crushed by mass!

She is going to a shelter in Lumberton and if she sees a need she will recommend them to come to my home. I told her I can remember when my youngest daughter was a baby and she was sensitive to loud noises and did not do well in crowds. I can imagine a young family with small children in similar circumstances and I would be happy to help them.

Also, the preacher’s wife has family-in-law that are currently housing 14 people from New Orleans and they know of other families coming in the next week to the area. They may take up our offer. So as of right now, I have no guests in my home. But the offer still stands and I am opening up myself to God’s leading as to who comes to my home.

___________________

On another note, I am asking prayers for my sister and brother-in-law. They are making life changing decisions in the next few weeks and it will alter their lifestyle and livelihood. Please pray for them.

GOD, I NEED YOUR HELP!

As we watch the coverage of the aftermath, we feel helpless. Yet, Tollie and I both had the same feeling last night. We want to do something. Of course, our first thoughts were we have this large house with extra beds and room for people. So, we both, almost at the same time, said we want to go get someone to stay with us, that needs housing.

But I need help in doing this. This will certainly be out of my comfort zone. Yet, if I want a B & B, someday, this would be like that! So.....how can I not try. Yet, a B & B could be a one night thing, where this may be a month-long thing! That is a huge difference! But I do feel compelled to do something.

I am going this morning to get some gift cards. We are collecting those at church to hand out and help the victims in some way. I will go to Ford Arena or call and find out what is the best way to help! I know they need money right now and that is certainly a possibility. But I will see what else I can do and I am praying this morning that God sends someone to us to bring home to our house!

This could be a turning point in our lives to go from wanting to be a different church, to being a different church!

PEACE!

In reading my list of blogs this morning, I read where Kip McKean is bringing back the "lost" from the ICOC and wanting to determine who is in or out! This brings back so many memories and not good ones at that.

Why do people feel compelled to judge the hearts of men? I know we all do at times but this is a constant in this man's life. Satan has a strong hold on this man and I pray for his freedom in Christ.

I am still praying for those in the Gulf Coast states who are hurting and not home and don't even know if they have a home to go to. It must be devastating! I am so thankful we were spared. We got a strong, short lived wind and rain storm through here yesterday in late afternoon that was nothing compared to what these people went through. This was just an outer band of storms that came through, but it was enough for me. Knocked over some plants and my front yard looks like beavers have been in my tree cutting the tips off!

So I am very thankful we didn't have a visit from Katrina and hopefully we will not see any of her family of hurricanes this season!

KATRINA!

We are breathing a sigh of relief as we watch Katrina going into Louisiana. She could have made her way further west but went north instead. We are happy. Not happy that others are suffering but happy she did not come our way.

I thought it strange this morning when I heard a senator from Louisiana say they were praying for the storm to go east of New Orleans! I am sure there were others praying as well, those east praying it would go west or east! Poor God! I know he must hear all these prayers coming from all directions and then has to decide to disappoint someone! Is this really how it works? I have so many questions concerning prayer and how it works and I can't wait to get to heaven and ask them! (Although probably by then, it won't matter to me)

What do you think about prayer? I know prayer works, I'm just not sure how it works nor am I sure I always ask the right questions in my prayers. I know God has a plan and does he really change those plans by hearing prayers? If that be the case, what causes him to change his mind and does he then become a respector of persons and then does it depend on our "goodness" or "badness" as to who he listens to? Or is it that it is so out of our realm of thinking that none of this is what happens at all and that what really does happen can't be explained in human terms? See, I have many questions.

Don't get me wrong, I do pray. I pray every night before I go to sleep and I try to pray often. I am sure I pray when things are tough and I need to have comfort. I try to remember to always pray for thanksgiving. But I am not sure I pray often and at the right times and especially I believe that I don't pray the right kind of prayer! I am working and studying on my praying to see if I can understand it more and more.

If you have ideas of how prayer works and how it affects us, please share them with me.

PERSPECTIVES!

It is interesting to me that no matter what you say, it depends on the other person's perspective as to how it can be taken. I know not everything matters in this regard, but in important things it does.

I have been dialoguing with my youngest concerning the relationship of her and her boyfriend. I will say something and depending on her perspective, she has to ask questions to make sure what I am saying. I know I assume too much sometimes and that causes a different perspective.

My point in saying this is how many times have I read the Word with a certain viewpoint or perspective in mind and taken it entirely out of context? It scares me to think that I can read the Word and not fully understand what is being said or how it is said because of the blinders I have on my eyes, in my heart and in my head.

I realize when we don't listen well and already have answers blocking the listening, then damage can occur. We become faulty in our decisions and can even be faulty in our convictions because of assumptions and differing perceptions.

We were asked in class once if the Word was truth? Of course! Also, if there was only one interpretation? I said a definite no and nearly every one else said yes. But we all interpret according to our own assumptions and perspectives. So how can we say there is one interpretation. There may well be one supposed interpretation but I find it hard to believe that there is only one and that when a certain passage is read it is interpreted the same by every reader. If that is the case, then why are there so many issues on the table and so many churches?

GOTTA RUN! LIFE IS GOOD!

I talked with my youngest last night after her visit to her boyfriend's. She was in Missouri for about 9 days! Wow! She sounded good. They had a good week with a few hitches, like a funeral! But that is everyday life and I am sorry they had that but fortunately for her it was not someone she knew. I know she is anxious to get her last semester of school over with. That is what is motivating her right now. I pray for her consistency and stamina as she completes this and makes enough money to sustain her while in her internship. She can do this. I am praying for God's hand to get her through to next May!

I will get Tollie to blog yet. John Alan Turner has a blog that has been addressing some issues we are dealing with right now. He has talked about not tinkering with what God has put in place and to stop praying for vision! Wow, that really hit me. But his point is that God already has a vision for the church. We need to be praying for strategy and working that strategy. It is indeed what our sheperds are doing this weekend. They had planned to get a vision for Christ Covenant, but now I think it will be a planning session to put into place a strategy for Christ Covenant. They need our prayers this weekend and I hope things go well for them.

I love my friends! Friends are the basis for my everyday walk while filling needs. Thank you God for friends. And speaking of friends, I have talked to my bestest friend this morning and then later I am going to have lunch with another best friend. So could life get much better? Don't think so. I will see my grandchildren and kids tonight and talked with my other kid last night. Life is good.

Gotta run!

Crafty Satan

I am currently reading a book to help me discover where my down spots are that hinder me from losing weight. According to the book, there is a line where we are above the line and happy. Coming down below the line causes us pain and unhappiness and that is when we go to external solutions, such as binging, drinking, really excess habit.

My biggest problem is finding when I am below the line. I think sometimes I am so caught up in my daily that I don't realize that I am below the line and it is really a long later that I see I was below the line.

Satan is crafty and fills my day with ho hum duties and discolors the truth so that I don't even realize what is happening.

Last night was an epiphany. I was laying there and realized that earlier in the day I had made a discovery quite by accident and it distressed me. I knew it distressed me but it was not until I was in bed, reading the book that I realized I had succumbed again to eating to mask over the distress I was feeling. Quite by quiet action I was hooked into an external solution without even consciously doing it. That is a scary thought. Doing something you don't intend to do.

Wow! I know how much I need to be conscious about what I do and why I do it.

At least I was eating Snack Well cookies so maybe they don't count as much as donuts?

I am praying for success in the actions that I hope to come about by acknowledging when I am below the line of happiness and using these external solutions to pacify my needs.

Blogging Gives Information

I have been reading the last few days the blogs that I read consistently. The buzz right now is the fact that Ann Coulter has been invited to speak at Harding in the spring.

At first, I didn't even know who Ann Coulter was, then I realized I had seen her and just heard the other day she was the one who wants to run against Hillary Clinton. To say that I am not political, would be apparent. To say that I don't read the paper is apparent also.

I realize today how "in my own little world" I am. I don't seem to have enough time in the day for my own little world much less what is going on around me.

Blogs have opened up that world to me. By reading blogs I can get a glimpse of what is going on around me and learn about the world around me. I have never been much of a political person. I do vote, don't get me wrong, but sometimes I wonder if my vote makes a difference when I don't even know who or what I am voting for! This can be a danger. I try to become informed but I realize so much of what I read and hear is tainted by that person/news political stance! So am I really getting the whole story by not researching out what I need to know.

But then I have never been very good at researching out anything. I like to take the easy road and get what is already researched! This is something in me I am finding that I don't like a lot. But I know I can change this, if I really desire to. So.....I may start watching more news TV instead of the old movies. I probably need to do more reading on the internet for the news articles and become an informed citizen. I'm just not sure I have enough time in the day, but if others can then I should be able to do this.

I know from own little world, there are enough problems without taking on more! So.....we will see how this comes about and whether I still like living in my own little world and I may close the blinds and watch Humphrey Bogart!

THUNDER!

There is thunder and lightening in his lips, Our God is an awesome God.

I just heard thunder outside and it reminded of this song.

I know I had asked my readers where and what they were doing five years ago. I will answer my own question, especially since it seems no one else reads my blog. But that is okay. I blog for me!

Five years ago, I was still reeling from a hard break in our church family! That seems such a long time ago and yet when I let myself think back, it still hurts. So, I try to look forward and not think back to those times.

I do have to say that though that is a hurtful time, it was also a very growing and maturing time! To say that I have changed is an understatement. Tollie and I were talking the other day and realized how much we have changed, especially spiritually. We are free in Christ! We don't worry so much any more. We don't feel like we have to walk on egg shells any more. We just enjoy worshipping God in everything we do and not just on Sundays!

I don't ever want to degrade or downplay our years at Westgate. They are precious years and precious memories and precious people! I love so many of them and miss them very much. Fortunately, we still have some of those people still in our lives! I would not want to go back though. I would feel stiffled and pushed down, like someone had their thumb on my head, pressing ever so hard to get me down! Does that make sense?

I can remember most that the last few years at Westgate were a struggle to keep my sanity. People were saying things about my mate that were unfounded, untrue and totally out of character for him. If they knew and loved him, they would know that. And in all that time, I kept thinking, can I make a mistake? Can we at least try other things to see if it works? Do we have to keep doing the same ole things and not growing? Why do we keep banging our heads against the perverbial wall?

At least now I know that if I have an idea, it will be listened to. Not that all my ideas will be done or tried and that is okay, but that I will be heard. That makes so much of a difference. And I know that people will take the truth and hold it high!

There are some things I want to change. I want to be more community minded. Yet, I am the one who did not sign up to do the Some Other Place Tasting. Why, I am not sure. But I find it hard to make those changes. Yet in five years, I have made milestone changes. When Tollie and I went to church with Mindy, it was a new experience for us. Something that five years ago would have been so hard for me to do. But I actually enjoyed the experience and want to learn from that experience.

Five years ago, I was in Beaumont, longing to know my grandbaby who was to be born in the next month! They were in Lubbock and we were 12 hours south in Southeast Texas! How in the world was I to be a grandmother 12 hours away? I prayed for three years for God to put us closer to my children! Never in a million years would I have guessed that my children would move to Beaumont! Thank you God for the experience to see my grandchildren anytime, and have them with me. To allow them to spend the night, see new and exciting things together, like movies, circuses and carosels.

Five years can bring a lot of changes and it has been that in my life. My children now live close, I have changed careers, going from doing medical transcription to managing a parts department to semi retirement. Now I work two days a week, doing fun jobs for an executive. I do genealogy work, publishing and printing calendars for the family and making menus for the family. I never know what project will come up next, but I find most of them fun.

I pray that your five years have found new growth and excitement in your life.

Blogging!

I am now blogging addicted! How did it happen? Well, I started doing my own blogging and looking at several other blogs. Now, I find that I can spend an hour reading other's blogs. I hardly have time to do my own blog.

I have found a connection in reading the other blogs and miss it when someone doesn't blog every day. I have my list and I go down the list and it seems that Monday's are always the day people decide to do other things besides blog. I find I click on a blog and go right to the next blog because there is nothing new to read. I especially find it disappointing when I continue to go to a blog and it hasn't changed in a week or even two! I want to ask where are they? Why haven't they blogged? It's like losing an old friend.

So.....in case there is anyone out there who is reading my blog, I don't want you to be disappointed and not find something new.

I have a new question and would like some feedback!

Where and what were you doing five years ago and how have you changed in these five years?

Start of a New Week!

Sunday has come and gone. The start of a new week! For many in our area, it is the start of a new school year. For some it is the end of summer and the beginning of school, a new job, a new relationship, many new things.

Do I have something new? Not really. I am still plodding on the same territory as I have plodded for many years. I have a two day a week job. I have three days during the week to do "my own thing", as long as that includes cleaning the house, washing clothes and mowing the lawn once a week! But I do have a lot of extra time, time to do what I want and usually that means cross stitching, especially since I am working on a special project at this time. I think I have plenty of time to get it done, but I want to make sure, so I work on it often.

I wonder sometimes if I have too much time on my hands. I seem to get down and depressed easily and I don't want to take medication all the time. I may start back on my depression meds to see if it will lift my spirit. But I hesitate to do that because it affects other things in my life, important things! So.....I will just continue plodding and praying for some relief.

RAMBLINGS!

Where have I been, you ask? I have not been at the computer long each day, just long enough to read my list of blogs and then rush off to work or wherever.

The kids are back in town and I got to see Ashton and Emma yesterday. They are growing as I type! I missed them and they had a good time on their trip.

I am reading a book now, "Blue Like Jazz". The reason I got the book and started reading it was because so many of the blogs I read listed it as a good read and one of their favorites. It is a good book with a totally different perspective on Christianity. I believe it to be a post modern definition for me.

I think it is funny how until I started blogging, I had not head the term post modern Christianity. I realized after starting to blog and read other blogs how unread and uneducated I have become. I am a smart person but I have tended to hide out in my own little world and be lost to the masses. That is not always a bad thing but in this case it caused me to feel left behind. I am enjoying catching up on reading the right now thoughts of those who I call brother and sister in Christ.

I will be away from my blog for several days as I travel with Tollie on his monthly trek to Tyler. I will enjoy being in the hotel and cross stitching, working feverishily to finish my project, watching old movies and letting someone else make the bed and cook the meal, not that I've done that too much lately. But it will be enjoyable anyway. But the best part will be being with Tollie. I don't like to be apart from him much and I don't like being home by myself away from him. So....it will be a good time with him.

Take care and hope you enjoy the rest of this hot month. School is about to start!

SATAN SPAM

It has occurred to me recently that I have been spammed twice! I received an e-mail from paypal concerning my account. I have received an e-mail once that stated I was trying to access my password. I didn't think too much of it. Then I get this e-mail that says I had added a new e-mail address. This I know I didn't do, so I was concerned and linked onto the link in the e-mail, thinking it was from paypal. After answering the questions it asked, I went on my merry way, but had a nagging feeling about it. Sure enough I researched it out again and realized it may have been a fradulent e-mail. I contacted paypal and sure enough it was a fraud e-mail. I had to go to my bank and get a new debit card and change everything in paypal. The link said it was going to paypal, but in reality when I clicked on the link, it went to a different source. So tricky and so underhanded.

Then the other day a cousin sent an e-mail concerning the ICE entry you put in your cell phone so that if you are in an accident the paramedics look there for In Case of Emergency number. Innocent enough and a good idea. Wrong! It is a phase one step of a several phase process to screw up your phone. Needless to say I repented and erased by entry quickly and notified those I had given this information to before. I don't like the idea that I have been duped so easily. But I have and now I realize how cunning and crafty these spammers can be.

Yet, I know Satan can be just as crafty and cunning and how often do I feel "spammed" by him? Not really that often. I know he is alive and well, but how often do I feel his presence in my life, trying to trip me up? Even though it is not often, I don't think it is because I am living such a Christian perfect life! I wonder if it is because I get so caught up in my living that I don't notice either Christ or Satan, just me! Of course, I guess that is one way Satan can spam us, cause us to get so caught up with ourselves.

So.....my goal today is to watch for spamming by the devil and make certain my eyes and thoughts are on Christ so I don't presume I am okay.

Interesting Weekend!

We went to Austin this weekend to be with our youngest daughter. Her boyfriend was there for a visit for one day, from Missouri! We had ice cream with them on Friday night for about an hour's visit. It was good. Unfortunately, he had to leave on Saturday to get back to his job and preach on Sunday morning. But the hour we had with him and Mindy was quality time! It was enjoyable and we want to spend as much time with them as we can.

Life has interesting twists all the time. I had blogged earlier concerning my decisions to make of whether to go to Austin this weekend or skip out and go to Lubbock for my aunt's funeral. I chose to go to Austin to spend time with Trent and Mindy and especially Mindy. I think it was the right decision! Sometimes, I wonder, but this time I believe it was the right decision.

We went to church with Mindy on Sunday morning. It was interesting to say the least. We know this is where Mindy is suppose to be at this time in her life. Is it where we would go if we lived there? Probably not, but for her, it is a good place. Gateway Community Church is full of life for the unchurched. Tollie and I were able to see the distinct differences in the way they think and what we are use to thinking in a church. What I mean by this is, it was obvious they have a heart for the unchurched and conduct their services geared to that. The music is loud and active. Although we were surprised it was paticipatory and not just entertaining. That was refreshing! They do not have communion. I can see their choice in not having it. I am sure their thinking is that they do not want any sign of "religion" so they stay clear of the rituals that might give that appearance. Mindy says they do have communion on a Sunday night service once a month. This would bother me, as I feel bonded to those I worship with during communion. I would miss this. I think it is an important part of my worship. Do I think they are going to hell for not having punched their ticket? No......anymore than I think someone is going to hell for having communion at other times than Sunday service! But I do think I would miss out on an important time of bonding for me. Bonding with sisters and brothers in Christ and with God!

It was apparent Mindy has made her mark there as she introduced us to others. The first was a young lady in her small group. (She is the leader of the small group.) Another was some young gentlemen she just said hi to. Then she introduced us to a man that had rave reviews for Mindy and her babysitting abilities. You knew she had impacted that family with her smile and grace! Then there was a young man in one of the children's classes. Later she told us he had asked her out and confessed his liking for her. She told him she had a boyfriend!

I am so proud of Mindy. It would be hard as a single young lady to go to a large church (they have three services on Sunday morning and adding another one soon) and participate and find your nitch. But she has and it is apparent she is enjoying herself. She told me later that at times during the service she thought she would check on us to see if we were okay but decided to just worship and let us worship in our own way.

We were fine. I did find myself crying, like I do often at Christ Covenant at the beginning of the service. I am not sure what brings the tears. Sometimes I think it is a longing for old ways but then I think it is just emotion for new ways! Does that make sense? Probably not because I don't know why in reality. But I thank God for the ways I have grown and am growing and I ask for continued understanding. I do think I have become more open minded and for that I am thankful. Mindy has parents who are not condemning of her ways and I am proud that I can say that. I did find myself wondering about some of the people at Gateway, but I also found that it is okay if they don't have it all together, because neither do I! That is refreshing and I am thankful for that revelation in my new life.

Have a great week and I give God the praise for children, friends, family and travel!

Gone Home!

I talked with my dad today. Daddy is speaking at the funeral for my 96 year old Aunt Virgie. Virgie raised daddy from the time he was eight when his mother died. There are only two siblings of the 12 children left living at this time. There are numerous neices and nephews.

I am praying for my dad today as he is wanting this day to be a rejoicing that Virgie is home. She lived a long, useful life of service to others. He wants others to know what Virgie did for others and how she impacted all those she came in contact with.

Daddy was telling me about the dress they bought for Virgie to be buried in. Virgie had asked that she have a long sleeved blue dress. Of course, today the designs are not like what Virgie wore. They don't even make those kind of dresses any more. So Mother and Daddy had a hard time finding what they could afford and what would be appropriate for Virgie. They finally ended up at Dillards and a little sales girl (as my dad called her) helped them find what they needed. As they were looking she would go get something for them to see. They finally found a dress for about $70.00 and were about to decide on that one when she came back with a beautiful little dress. I say little because my aunt was always small but she was down to about 55 lbs. when she died. The size had to be really small. She came back with a dress small enough and it was marked at $10.99. Daddy was confused when he saw the tag say $80.00 but then saw the 10.99. She assured Daddy it was only 10.99. They were very pleased and Daddy made sure he got her name and will contact Dillards on way she helped them at this time.

Thank you, Lord for taking this burden from my parents. You have been faithful them for such a long time in helping with so many of their burdens. Mary was a blessing, Sanders Funeral home is a blessing and now this young girl at Dillard's is a blessing. I only ask that you give my dad composure appropriately at the funeral today. Help him do the job he wants to do for Virgie. I am thinking of him and wanting to be there so badly. So give us all peace!

Torn Between Two Choices!

Torn Between Two Choices! That's a song? Well, anyway, it is like being torn between two lovers! I have been torn the last few days, do I go to Lubbock for my aunt's funeral or stay here and go to Austin to have breakfast with my daughter and her boyfriend? This may not sound like a great choice but for me it turned out to be a huge decision. At one point, I was going to Lubbock, then on Monday night, decided not to go. I awoke Tuesday morning with the determination that I was going and called my sister to say I was and would let her know how and when. I worked all morning Tuesday trying to coordinate my flights for going and coming home before too late on Friday. The flights to come home were early Thursday or Saturday. The funeral is at 2:00 pm Thursday and I have to be in Austin Saturday. I could drive it, but why drive 12 hours and be beat when I arrive and beat when I return and then head to Austin?

Have you gotten the picture that Austin is a sure thing? It is. It is very important to me to spend whatever time we can with Trent and Mindy. Afterall, it is a future we are talking about here! By going to Lubbock, I am going not for Virgie, she is gone. I would be going for myself and for my parents. If going for my parents then I can go later, next month and spend more than one day with them. By doing that, it serves both. So....that is how I made my decision.

Now, my question is after praying about this and making this decision, did God give me the answer or did I just figure it out? This is where I would really like for God to have a direct line for answers like this one. Which is best, God? What advantages do you see, because you can see so much better than I can, for doing one over the other? Both decisions were right in their own way but finances did not allow me to do both. Not this time! At least not in my mind!

I have to say I appreciate my son-in-law so much. As I was explaining all this to him after class tonight, he said we could leave tonight and he would take me all the way to Lubbock and then Cheryl could bring me back to Abilene and he would take me to Austin. He was serious! I appreciated his offer, but I will stay home and let them leave for Abilene tomorrow when they had planned. He was willing to give up his plans for me. (Now, how can you get mad at someone for something like that?)

So.....here I sit wondering if Cheryl and Terrie made it to Lubbock, wondering how my parents are doing, wondering what relatives have come and who decided not to come and what cousins will I miss seeing? I will call my parents in the morning and wish them well for the day and give them my love. I will work tomorrow and then leave Friday to spend an hour with Mindy and Trent and then have Saturday night and Sunday with Mindy and come home. In a few weeks, I will go to Lubbock and spend more than one day with my parents and you know what? Life will go on and we will all be okay.

Tribute to my Aunt Virgie

Virgie Novice Christian died yesterday at 96 years of age in Lubbock, Texas. She was the 6th child of 12 born to John and Alice Christian in 1909. Alice Christian died when Virgie was only 22 and Virgie's quest in life became that of her mother's, to keep the family intact. Virgie became "mother" to her five younger siblings, including my father, George. George was the baby of the family and Virgie virtually raised him after his mother's death. George was eight years old.

Virgie took on this new responsibility to care for the family, giving up her own personal dreams and ambitions in life.

I remember my aunt Virgie as a loving, caring, small woman. She was allergic to tomatoes! My dad would sometimes pick up Virgie on Saturday and she would spend the evening with us, eating supper and spending the night and then going to church with us the next morning. This was significant to me because Virgie was the only person in my daddy's family, "like us." In other words, she was the one I saw as a Christian and everyone else just went to church somewhere. It must have been through her and her raising of my dad that he was a Christian. I found out later in life that many in Dad's family came to know Christ through a friend of the family.

My aunt Virgie worked at a dry cleaners for many years. She walked every where she went in Lubbock. She never learned to drive a car. She either walked, rode the bus or someone in the family picked her up. One year, I was driving a church van and saw Virgie walking home from work. I stopped to pick her up and she scolded me for driving such a large vehicle. I was too small to drive something that big!

The only other time I remember Virgie scolding me was when I named my daughter Jamie. She didn't like the name Jamie. It reminded her of a little boy in school who teased her and was mean. She was afraid Jamie would be that way because of her name!

As Virgie aged and "retired" she spent a lot of time alone. She lived in an apartment complex with her apartment an efficiency. She never seemed to have much. She quilted some and had a sewing machine. The family she lived with when she retired gave her a TV for her many years of service. I think back now and realize how many years she was alone. All of her life was service to other people.

When Virgie was unable to live alone anymore, there was only three brothers left to care for Virgie and make the decisions of where she would be placed. Shortly, there were only two brothers to make this decision. Virgie had begun to have dementia and it was dangerous for her to live alone. Virgie went to live with my mom and dad for a time. But my mother's health made this difficult and it would not be long before Virgie needed more care.

My dad was able to locate a woman named Mary who was starting a home for caring for elderly and affirmed. She would only take ambulatory residents and would be happy to have Virgie. Virgie was the first to move into the home. It was a great place and there would be room for three others. Mary reminded my dad sometimes that she could only care for ambulatory patients and as Virgie aged he might need to think of other arrangements. But that day never came.

Virgie was taken to the hospital on numerous occasions and my dad would be told that this was probably the end. I remember one time when dad called to say that the doctors thought she would be gone in a day or two. Virgie was just sleeping and would not eat. About two days later, my dad went to the hospital to find Virgie sitting up in bed, eating and when he walked he, she stated, "hi, George." We all marveled, even the doctors, as Virgie returned to Mary. Our thoughts were all collective as we said, "she will outlive us all."

As Virgie became less able to care for herself, Mary took care of her more and more. She bathed, diapered and fed Virgie. In the last few years, Virgie had become totally bedridden. Mary never talked again of Virgie leaving as she loved Virgie.

Mary was a God send for my parents. Mary took care of Virgie like her own child. When I was in Lubbock in March, I went to see Virgie. As we entered her room, it was a bedroom with a hosptial bed. Unlike the smells and dingy-ness of a nursing home, it was very pleasant. My dad had not been able to get any response from Virgie in several months. Virgie would just lay, sleep and occasionally eat what Mary could coax her to eat. When I arrived, my dad went to her bedside and spoke loving words to her and told her I was there. I went to her other side and talked with Virgie and shortly, she turned her head, looked at me and smiled. She turned to my dad and said, "she is so pretty." As we were leaving, we both told Virgie we loved her and she mouthed the words, "I love you" back to us. With tears in my eyes, I suspected then that would be the last words I would hear from my aunt Virgie. I believe they were probably the last words my dad heard as well.

This sums up my Aunt Virgie. As she lay withered and dying, she was thinking of others. Virgie always knew my dad when he would visit. She would sometimes get confused who my mother was, but she always knew George.

Yesterday, my dad lost his sister, but he also lost his "mother". Virgie was a selfless, wonderful, Christian who is now at home.

Thank you Lord for the quiet spirit of my aunt Virgie. She touched lives as she lived quietly for you. She may not be known far and wide but she was known and loved by those around her.

Goodbye Virgie and I will see you when I come home!

CASA

I am posting the pics from the CASA Carnival and hope you enjoy seeing my grandchildren. These pics are my grandkids who came to the carnival towards the end of it. They had a short but good time there. The right pic is Emma and her dad and the left one is Ashton and her mom. It was a fun time.

CASA stands for Court Appointed Special Advocate. It is a volunteer based organization where a judge appoints a person to the voice for the child. These are children who have been taken from their home for various reasons. Sometimes the children are returned home and often they are placed in permanent care of CPS or adopted. The volunteer spends time researching what is the best course of action for the child. It is not always easy to find the best course but it is desired.

Didn't my son-in-law do a good job on the backdrop? He drew the mermaid and sea monster free handed and painted most of it. I did some touch up painting. I did the sea shells, the scales on the mermaid and brightened up the monsters face. It was fun to do and I think we make a good team. Thanks again, Paul. You really came through for me!

Great Friends, Good Food

We went last night to eat with some dear friends. We went to Esther's and had a great time. We enjoyed the company of "catching" up on the summer happenings and then we watched the alligater and catfish eat bread pieces. We drove down a dusty road and took pictures of the old "Rainbow Bridge". We checked out crayfish crates but decided not to take any home with us. Then an executive decision was made and we went to Marble Slab. By the way, Dixie, the resturant in Groves was Ellee's! I tried to call you last night but you must have been on the phone. I figure you were talking with Mary!

What a night. After all that eating and talking, we came home and had a nice quiet time home together. Seems our nights of outings and then quiet times have not been as often lately. We have been so busy and so entrenched in the summer, we just go, go, go and then go to bed exhausted. So even though yesterday was a full day, we really enjoyed the evening!

Yes, the CASA carnival was great. The kids really seemed to want their pictures. We had a couple glitches that caused us to lose our rhythm in taking and printing the pictures and then we got so far behind printing that a lot of the kids didn't get their pitcures. We hope to mail them or have some one come by the office to get them. Toward the end, we figured out the best way to take the pictures, download them to the computer and then work to get them printed. By then it was so late but now we know the best way for next year!

I am so thankful Tollie was with me and didn't go to the unity conference in Dallas! I would have never made it without him. I am also thankful to Paul for painting the back drop and glad the girls and their mom, Jamie came to the carnival. Even though they were at the last of it and didn't get to do much, including eat hot dogs!, they had a great time. CASA is such a great orgnization. It is there to help kids and helping kids, they do best! I will have pictures and more about CASA tomorrow.

Today, the Lord's day. The day we set aside for worshiping in a group to the Father of all. As I have said in the past, I refuse to call our gathering "church" and I hesitate to say we are going to worship. I am the church and I worship in every thing I do. So I am going to meet with my family of God and there we will all worship together.

Have a great week!

CASA and the Carnival

CASA stands for Court Appointed Special Advocate. I am a CASA volunteer and I work with a child who has been removed from her mother and placed and with CPS. I am the "voice" of the child. I search and research out the best possible options for the child. I present these options to the court and the judge uses my presentation to help him make his decisions. It is an awesome and resposible job that gives back a lot of fulfillment in the process.

I have only been a volunteer for about 1 1/2 years. I am still working on the same case at this time, but when this one is resolved (and hopefully that will be in the next six months) I will take on another case. I say I hope this one resolves because when a case resolves it means the child has a permanent home and hopefully that is where the child can grow and mature in the best situation.

CASA is having their summer carnvial tomorrow. We did last year's carnival and although it was hot and seemed a long morning, it was a great event. We have a booth and last year the booth was not that exciting. I am hoping this year's booth is fun! We are doing picture taking. I enlisted the help of my son-in-law and my husband to build me a backdrop and have the kids put their face in the body of a mermaid or a sea monster and we will take their picture. I hope to have pictures put here on Monday for you to see what I am talking about.

I am just praying the rain holds off tomorrow. Not that rain would be all that bad, especially a little sprinkle to cool things down but I am afraid my backdrop could run if it rains. We did it in acrylic paints and I don't want to lose the picture!

Have a great weekend. I plan to.

I Am Late

I am late for work this morning. I don't really have a definite time to get to work, but I do try to get there by 10:00. I only work on Tuesdays and Thursdays and this morning I am going to be late.

I am working on a backdrop for taking pictures at the CASA carnival this Saturday. My son-in-law is to come today, I think this evening, and paint the picture. I want a beach scene with a mermaid and a sea monster. I will cut out the faces of them and have the children put their face in place and take a picture. Then they will have the picture to take back with them.

I will write more tomorrow and explain more on CASA and what we do and what I have learned from doing it. Also, some comments on a book I am now reading. Interesting things happening, come back and share with me.

I Fixed It

The fuse was the ac problem. I popped out the old fuse and put in a new fuse. The air was cold and it blowed hard! It cost a whole $1.28 to fix. Thank you, Lord.

No New Revelations

There are no new revelations this morning. My eyes are dry, my tears have stopped but I have a huge headache. I am not looking forward to putting my headache in a hot car, but I only have to go to the bank, the auto store for a fuse (that will hopefully fix the ac), and to work. Then after work I have a hair appointment. Interesting day coming!

What Am I Doing Wrong?

I think I have posted in the past regarding my challenge my daughter and her boyfriend gave to me to ask God for the money for my dental surgery. If you have been reading lately, you know that not only did I not get the money provided, but the same amount needed was required for our van before vacation. My question then was did I not pray right or was God not listening or misunderstand me?

Now my question today is what is God trying to tell me? We loaned our van to our kids, long story with some strong feelings there, but at any rate, I was to drive our 1972 Olds Cutlass convertible for the next few days. (Pictured here). That is not a real problem other than it is hard to start when it has not been driven in a long while and if it is raining or bad weather, we don't like to get it out. There was hesitation when we thought the hurricane Emily was coming our way but when she was headed to Mexico it was going to be okay to drive.

I did drive "Bessie" today and she did fine until I got in her to come back home. The air conditioner stopped working. That usually would not be a problem except for the fact that July and August in Southeast Texas are the hottest times of the year. For the few miles I had to travel, I was dripping wet with sweat by the time I got home. Mainly, it is just frustrating.

Then my frustration is stronger when I have planned for over a month now to do a backdrop for my CASA carnival this Saturday and have asked my family to help me with it. Of course, now that I don't have the van, I have been asked to wait until Thursday to get the plywood and then it will be painted. I am not the person who waits until the last minute. Then my darling dear husband who left town this morning suggested that we could still take the pictures even without the backdrop. Sounds easy, but the tears have been flowing for the rest of the evening. I politely and as calmly as I could, let him know that I told my committee I would have a backdrop and the idea I had for the backdrop and I'll be darned if I don't have the backdrop, one way or another, if I have to buy one.

So...my question today is what I am suppose to be learning here Lord? I have asked for help and it seems I am getting no where? Everything seems to be turning toward me rather than for me. I don't like to feel sorry for myself, but I am having a hard time today trying to figure all this out. And the best I can do today is to cry and go to bed.

So, hopefully, I will have brighter eyes and emotions in the morning and God will provide some answers for me.

Back in the Saddle

Well, I am back in the saddle again. I am doing great from my dental surgery, ready to get the stitches out tomorrow but not pain and feeling okay.

My company came and went. They were to be here for several more days, but due to circumstances at their church, needed to get back to services on Sunday and take care of things there. I understand. Saddened, but I understand. It was great to have them here. They seem to always enjoy themselves and relax and soak in the gentleness of our sweet time together. I soak them in and wish for the wisdom they both have.

I have a mission this week. I am calling our family doctor with questions and hopefully get some answers to questions that are plaquing me. We need to know if Tollie needs an ENT doctor or an audiologist. Also, if we can get a PET on him done in the near future. Tollie had a melanoma years ago and now with history in the family of a brain tumor (his dad), I want to do preventive things to protect his health. So......hopefully, I will get some answers this week.

Today was a great day at services. Jerry did a great job on a sensitive topic and after my prayer before arriving, I did okay and in fact am quite proud of myself. I have some issues and I am working on them and God is helping me focus on them.

Jamie is leaving today for Dallas for a conference for school. Tollie leaves for Tyler in the morning for his usual monthly trek. I am staying home and will work on Tuesday. I have started my new book, (recommended by Gina to read) called Now, Discover Your Strengths. I am anxious to find my strengths and then try to find my ninch in my work environment and with my church family. I also got the book "Blue Like Jazz" that I have read so many reading and I will try to finish my books, Set Me Free and the other by Cecil Hooks that has the writings of Carl Ketcherside and Leroy Garrett in them.

I also need to go get my plywood today. This is the last day to have Tollie here to help me with it. Then, I need to get Paul over here to start working on it and we will get it done by this weekend.

Have a great week, I plan to.

Swollen but feeling okay

I woke up this morning with a tight jaw, tight cheek and tight neck. I am swollen from my dental surgery and it looks like Tollie slugged me in the jaw. But I feel okay. I was real tired yesterday but feeling much better today.

Thanks for the prayers for my recovery and the calls and well wishes. I have spent the last two days sitting in a chair, watching TV and cross stitching. Today, though I have to get the house ready for company.

I have company coming!!!! My best friend in all the world is coming to see me. They will be here this evening and I have to clean the bathrooms, clean the floors and get ready for them to be here. I have to work in the morning, ugh!!! But I have to go because I have not been in two weeks and I have to get some hours in so we can eat!!! But that will give them time to sleep in and take their time enjoying the quiet. Sometimes you just need to get to a new location and veg out. I hope they will enjoy that. I can see them now, sitting on the porch and enjoying the morning with their coffee and book. That's what they like.

I want to thank God for the good report my friend had from her biopsy. Everything was benign. No more surgery. That is a relief.

I hope to get back to blogging regularly and insightfully next week. My friends will leave Monday morning, Tollie will leave for Tyler Monday morning and I will be here all alone. That might be a blessing! So.....until next week have a great week and weekend. See you then.

Okay

Well, we are back home from vacation. I want to tell you lots about our vacation but I don't want to dis Tennessee. However, we were very disappointed in Tennessee. We took the grandkids to the zoo and after paying an arm and a leg to get in, we found there were no girafees, the elephants had a sort of new home and you could not see them very well, the zebras and antelope were so far removed you could not see them. We did see lots of birds and some monkeys. It was a pretty walk through the one section where the bamboo was growing and the trees were thick, but that was about all the good we can say about the Nashville Zoo.

And then the hotel in Nashville was so tiny it was hard to fit four adults in much less two children to boot. But we made it through. We took the kids to the Adventure Science Center and it was great but there were so many kids there it became almost scary to try to keep up with our own. It was over stimulating. In fact, I noticed just before we left that Ashton, my oldest grand daughter was running from event to event without really stopping. It was like she was running on overload and didn't know how to stop. I began to notice as we were leaving that many of the other kids were doing the same thing.

The planaterium was okay but the video they showed was about light pollution, not about the stars. We went to see stars and astronomy, not astrology. So.....needless to say Nashville is not the place for us to vacation again.

We spent one night in Memphis and it was great. The hotel room, (same brand as in Nashville) was so roomy and spacious. It was great. I think if we ever go back that way, which we probably will since in-laws live in Kentucky, we will probably do Memphis and bypass staying in Nashville.

It was good to spend some time with the in-laws. They are trying to recoup and doing well considering the surgery Gene went through. But he has a long way to go. I think we need to go back sometime and help them clean out the yard, barn and garage and take away some of the things they no longer need. Another time we will do that.

Can you believe we were with our daughter, son-in-law and two grand children for a whole week and we came back in one piece and all were happy. I will say that by the end of the last day we were all tired. Afterall we had traveled from Memphis to Beaumont. We really made good time considering we did not leave Memphis until noon. We arrived in Beaumont, after leaving the kids off in Lumberton, about 11:00. So we really did well. It was a good vacation.

Considering gas prices rising as we traveled, a hurricane coming in where we had been and no money to really spend on vacation, we did really well.

I said earlier I would let you know how my challenge to not put my dental surgery on the credit card went. Well.....my surgery is in the morning and I have no resources but the credit card. Unless God chooses to send me some money that I don't know about, I will be putting the cost on the credit card. If you read my blog you will see that two days before we left for vacation, we had to put the van in the shop and it cost about $900. Is it me or is it odd that the amount I was asking God to provide me with was the same as the cost of having the van fixed. Did I have a bad connection to heaven? Did God misunderstand my need and charged me the amount I was asking for?

Of course I am saying all this in jest and know quite well that God does provide and it will work out. Just not like I had hoped and not sure I understand what I am suppose to do with the challenge. But I still have a strong faith and I know that in the end, it will all work out. I just have to laugh sometimes to keep from crying.

This week will be good inspite of having dental surgery tomorrow. My best friend in all the world is coming to see me on Thursday. It will be a good week.

Back Home

I am back home. Have been using today to attend a funeral, catch up on washing clothes, taking a nap and now reading blogs and writing my blog.

Not sure I will get everything done today but trying to take it easy.

I will write more, when I am in a writing mood about the vacation. I really need to consider my words and what I write about so I don't upset or dis anyone!

Rained this afternoon and made for a great nap time.

Getting back into the swing of things takes time. Will see you again tomorrow!

The Challenge!

I just had to blog this!

God has always taken care of us. We have yet to go hungry. We've never not paid our debts -- maybe late but never missed payments.

We have certainly had our challenges in life. The week I found out I was pregnant with our first daughter, Tollie had a pay cut. We made it though it was tight for a while. About a year later, we looked into a move. Good thing because the day we flew to the interview, Tollie was let-go from his job. So....we moved 630 miles -- to the armpit of Texas. Certainly not our first choice, but home.

After being in our new home for a year or so, we were faced again with a let-go. Tollie had been told of a company move and he would move, but then after we came back from vacation, everything had changed and he would not be moving with the company. Tollie called a business acquaintance concering a possible job. He was willing to hire Tollie, in fact anxious to have him join his company, but he did not have any openings at the level Tollie was at. Tollie accepted the job anyway, knowing two things. First that any job is better than no job and secondly, it is easier to get a job if you are currently working. Tollie was called after a couple of days and asked by his new employer if he had been praying. With an emphatic "yes", he was informed that a great job opened up and it was offered to him. Tollie thankfully accepted -- giving all the thanks to God. I guess you could say it was a "God thing" as Tollie has been with the company for almost 30 years.

I could recount other stories -- like our buying a house, a dream house, that worked like it was meant to be. Or the time we were living on credit cards and decided that was not smart and melted all the cards. I was not certain how we would buy groceries the next month. Like I said -- we have never gone hungry!

So believe me, I know God takes care of us. I know He will provide our needs, even the wants at times. So it didn't seem that difficult when Mindy's boyfriend, Trent, (through Mindy) challenged me to allow God to work out the payment for my dental surgery. I had planned to put the charges on my credit card and in our talking, Mindy encouraged me to trust knowing God would provide a way. Sure, I thought! We are going on vacation and I will trust that he will find a way.

This week has not be a good week. Satan has been very active! First of all, a payment I had anticipated coming in and was going to use for vacation, has not arrived. So....savings will be pilfered for the cash for vacation. Then yesterday, I was headed downtown and as I entered the freeway, the "service engine soon" light came on and the van started running rough at the same time.

Rememeber, this is the van we are taking on vacation, in the morning! I went to the Ford dealer closest to me and they could not take it. So I travelled 20 miles to Mid-County and am sitting here now --- telling my tales. They will get to it this afternoon, so I am waiting on a ride back to my home. I figure the cost is going to be between $250 to 350$. I am guessing an oxygen sensor has gone bad.

So I am tyring to figure out where that money is coming from as well as the $950 for my dental surgery, when we return.

I have even suggested we not go on vacation! However, we are going to check on my husband's parents. This is important -- my father-in-law had brain surgery a couple of months ago. So really there is not the option of not going.

The Lord is going to have to figure all this out, as I see no way of not using the credit card. Stay tuned to find out how He works it all out!

Going on Vacation!

Monday came and went and I didn't even get to post! It has been a crazy day and I think today will be just as crazy. We are trying to get ready to go on vacatin and I am not taking the time to post in the next few days of prep. So.....I will be gone from this post for a little over a week. I am trying to think of everything for vacation and even think for my husband and grown children, who are going with us! That is taking up most of my time these days.

Also, it is at the end of the month and I have CASA reports to do and I am working today and I am already tired before really getting started. I wish I had some help but I know they, my husband and child, don't think like I do and don't prepare like I try to do. So.....I will continue to try to think for them and just not get upset. I was hoping we could leave early Thursday morning, but now I realize it may be noon before we get out of here and that will be okay. Well, not really okay but it will be okay. We have a long way to go that first day, all the way to Tusculoosa, Alabama and with kids traveling with us, it will be a long day.

I will not be posting for probably the whole time we are away. So see you in a little over a week and happy summer to you.

I will explore those things I am thinking and mulling around when I return. Hope you return with me.

35 Years Today!

I was a teen in love. I was goo-goo-eyed over the tall handsome, blue eyed boy that was my friend in band. We laughed a lot. We kissed a lot! We even cried when we discussed the differences in our "religions." We were both cofc but he was from the background of non sunday school and I was just your regular cofc. We made decisions based on much prayer and communication. We worked through our understandings at the time to emerge stronger and more in tune with each other and our faiths. We found our own ground in the Lord, standing together.

My how time flies! It was only yesterday it seems that I was standing at the altar, singing with this young man who made my heart flutter at the slight look, or the touch of the hand on my arm. We were so in love.

The greatest thing, we are still in love. In fact that love has so matured and grown that even when we are angry, sad, irritable, we still love each other. There is so much security in our relationship. We still enjoy each other's company and I still get a flutter when he touches me. We share so much. Our lives, our hopes, our dreams and our hearts.

I sometimes worry that my larger body bothers him, but he assures me we are both different and have changed over the years. We are happy to be in the same room together, whether we are talking, watching TV, reading in bed, or sitting on the porch and watching it rain. We are in sync. We love each other. We play well together. We were made for each other!

Thank you God for the treasure in Tollie that you gave me 35 years ago. I pray I have polished and nurtured and loved this treasure and that you will give me more than 35 more years to love this man.

No Time Today

I don't have much time today. I have to go to work and publish our pictorial directory. It is ready to go to print and it will probably take a couple of hours to print, cut and bind it. But I think it will be well worth the effort to put pictures of "our family" in the hands of all the members. When you merge two churches together, there are two separate families and we need every tool available to get us to one family.

I have some thoughts rolling around and will probably spend some time on Monday exploring these thoughts and hope you come back then to explore with me.

Tomorrow is 35 years! Wow, that is a long time to be with the same man. I am madly in love with my best friend. That is the fun stuff.

Till Monday!

Communication

I have been concerned, over the past few weeks, for the health of my mate. Tollie has not felt well from a cough that has lasted a long time and wears him out. He has gone to the doctor and is on medication. Part of the problem is the medication tends to smooth him out.

Our daughter noticed and brought to my attention recently that Tollie seems to "fade" when in a crowd. I had noticed it but her mention seemed to magnify what I already felt.

So.....we had a talk last night. A short one, not serious, not deliberate, but just talking. I voiced my concerns and he listened and we discussed possible causes and problems. Did we find solutions? Not really. Only possible solutions.

So why do I feel better today? We connected by our discussion. And the connection was more important than answers to our questions. Communication does connect us.

I know I need to be better at communication with my brothers and sisters at church as well. I have so long isolated myself for fear of hurt. My old tapes play and I don't want to go down that road again so I gently go on my merry way and watch from the sidelines. But this is not enough! I have to get in the game and bring along side me those in my circle and communicate/connect. Words are very powerful.

Back Ache, Work

I have a back ache this morning and have to go to work. For me, this is a choice. I only work two days a week and sometimes the two days seem like two long weeks. We are getting ready to go on vacation and I am ready. I seem to take all day to get a few things done. I want to think it is the summer heat keeping me down, but I am not sure what is happening.

Could I be getting lazy? I hope not, but I sure need to a get a fire under me. I just seem to get the have to things done and then sometimes not even that. Hopefully, today will be filled with getting a lot done. So.....I guess I better get started.

Drought in Texas

We are having a drought. It has not rained in a week and the temp has been in the mid 90's and the humidity has been down as low as 40% for a whole day. That is really unusual for Southeast Texas. It started out being hot, mid 90's in June. That usually doesn't happen until the end of July and August. It makes us wonder what it will be like in August! Hotter!?! I sure pray we get some relief soon.

Have you ever had a drought in your spiritual life? A time when there seems to be a ceiling right over your head that prayers cannot penetrate. A time when prayers come few and far between. A time when others around you are smiling and enjoying life and all you have is a gray cloud right over your head, causing the downturn of your mouth. A "mood" that cannot be laughed away. A funk so funky, you wonder if it will ever get better.

I have been in a spiritual drought for several years. We had a wonderful family where we had worshipped for 20 years. It seems that "family" turned inward and no matter how hard we tried to fight it, we could not get past perceptions. Perception or impression is an attitude or understanding based on what is observed or thought........often without knowing facts. There were people who perceived we had a belief contrary to our lives. But their perception was real to them. They could not get past it and everything they said or did was filtered through this perception.

It happens with teens. It happens between husbands and wives. It happens in churches. A perception can be so strong as to accuse, destroy, or be libal against another person.

I have finally begun to emerge from my drought. Little by little, the rain is quenching the thirst. It has been in spurts, not a deluge of a storm so I cherish every minute of the sprinkles. I think I need to change my perception as well! I can't accuse others of filtering through their perceptions without realizing I have my own.

Will it be hot in August? You bet, but can I depend on it being hotter than now because my perception is that if it is already hot in June it will be hotter in August?

What are your perceptions that need to be changed?

Summer is Here!

Summer is certainly here and is unusally hot and dry in Beaumont. In fact, yesterday I noticed the clock I have outside in the back yard had a dial that read DRY. It was far removed from the humid point and very noticably different position than usual. I watered the yard all day long and each time I moved the water to a new location, it smelled like I remember in Lubbock when it would rain. We are DRY! Please, Lord, send rain.

I enjoy spring the best. I think one of the reasons I enjoy it so much is the newness of everything. The plants come out with new buds, the birds are busy making new families, and the weather is so pleasant, especially after a hard winter. I think the best part is the chance to make new again.

I am so thankful my Lord gives me the chance to make new again, every day. I am still enjoying the blogging and it is certainly summer because this morning every blog I checked that I normally read had nothing new to day. Everyone of them! So......that tells me everyone is enjoying the outdoors and vacationing and taking time off.

Praise God my brother-in-law was able to go to work yesterday and actually stayed until the afternoon. He is doing well. Thank you Lord for this encouraging time for them. I ask for more good days than bad. They have had enough bad.

Sunday, then Monday

Wow! That is one word to describe how Sunday went. I was a little nervous about my sis and her husband going to services with us for the first time since the merge. But I can say now that it was a good thing.

I am proud of what we are doing. I am assured, at least by them, that we seem to be doing things well. That always helps.

It was a very emotional service. The minister did the Daddy's song sermon. He did a great job. We were all okay until someone went forward for their wayward child. Then it began to happen. When I put my arm around my sis, she lost it and so did T. That is the first time I have seen or heard him cry for his lost son.

You see, his son is not lost in the deaths sense but in the lost spiritual sense. Their son, my nephew has chosen to live his life in contradiction to everything he was raised to believe. He has chosen to denounce his family and have not contact with them. My heart aches for my sis but my heart aches for lost D. I pray for him often and I need to pray for him more.

There were tears today, but there was a connection today. It was a great service.

Company has gone home today. We have laughed, cried and enjoyed our time and now we have to get back to a routine for another week. Have a great week! I will.

The Lord's Day

Sunday! The Lord's Day. The day we meet with our brothers and sisters in Christ and worship the heavenly father in a more dedicated and formal way. I say this as I am exploring the reason, the whys and wherefores of corporate worship.

I have concluded not to call the time worship time, as I am trying to make every momont of time my worship to God. I don't like to call it church, because people are the church, not a building. So I am trying to conclude in my own mind exactly what to call this time where we meet as a family. Family time! Hummmmm, has possibility.

This will be the first time my sis and her husband have gone to services with us since the merger. It will be interesting to hear feedback from an "outsider", an open but cofc outsider.

Will let you know how today goes.