The Challenge!

I just had to blog this!

God has always taken care of us. We have yet to go hungry. We've never not paid our debts -- maybe late but never missed payments.

We have certainly had our challenges in life. The week I found out I was pregnant with our first daughter, Tollie had a pay cut. We made it though it was tight for a while. About a year later, we looked into a move. Good thing because the day we flew to the interview, Tollie was let-go from his job. So....we moved 630 miles -- to the armpit of Texas. Certainly not our first choice, but home.

After being in our new home for a year or so, we were faced again with a let-go. Tollie had been told of a company move and he would move, but then after we came back from vacation, everything had changed and he would not be moving with the company. Tollie called a business acquaintance concering a possible job. He was willing to hire Tollie, in fact anxious to have him join his company, but he did not have any openings at the level Tollie was at. Tollie accepted the job anyway, knowing two things. First that any job is better than no job and secondly, it is easier to get a job if you are currently working. Tollie was called after a couple of days and asked by his new employer if he had been praying. With an emphatic "yes", he was informed that a great job opened up and it was offered to him. Tollie thankfully accepted -- giving all the thanks to God. I guess you could say it was a "God thing" as Tollie has been with the company for almost 30 years.

I could recount other stories -- like our buying a house, a dream house, that worked like it was meant to be. Or the time we were living on credit cards and decided that was not smart and melted all the cards. I was not certain how we would buy groceries the next month. Like I said -- we have never gone hungry!

So believe me, I know God takes care of us. I know He will provide our needs, even the wants at times. So it didn't seem that difficult when Mindy's boyfriend, Trent, (through Mindy) challenged me to allow God to work out the payment for my dental surgery. I had planned to put the charges on my credit card and in our talking, Mindy encouraged me to trust knowing God would provide a way. Sure, I thought! We are going on vacation and I will trust that he will find a way.

This week has not be a good week. Satan has been very active! First of all, a payment I had anticipated coming in and was going to use for vacation, has not arrived. So....savings will be pilfered for the cash for vacation. Then yesterday, I was headed downtown and as I entered the freeway, the "service engine soon" light came on and the van started running rough at the same time.

Rememeber, this is the van we are taking on vacation, in the morning! I went to the Ford dealer closest to me and they could not take it. So I travelled 20 miles to Mid-County and am sitting here now --- telling my tales. They will get to it this afternoon, so I am waiting on a ride back to my home. I figure the cost is going to be between $250 to 350$. I am guessing an oxygen sensor has gone bad.

So I am tyring to figure out where that money is coming from as well as the $950 for my dental surgery, when we return.

I have even suggested we not go on vacation! However, we are going to check on my husband's parents. This is important -- my father-in-law had brain surgery a couple of months ago. So really there is not the option of not going.

The Lord is going to have to figure all this out, as I see no way of not using the credit card. Stay tuned to find out how He works it all out!

Going on Vacation!

Monday came and went and I didn't even get to post! It has been a crazy day and I think today will be just as crazy. We are trying to get ready to go on vacatin and I am not taking the time to post in the next few days of prep. So.....I will be gone from this post for a little over a week. I am trying to think of everything for vacation and even think for my husband and grown children, who are going with us! That is taking up most of my time these days.

Also, it is at the end of the month and I have CASA reports to do and I am working today and I am already tired before really getting started. I wish I had some help but I know they, my husband and child, don't think like I do and don't prepare like I try to do. So.....I will continue to try to think for them and just not get upset. I was hoping we could leave early Thursday morning, but now I realize it may be noon before we get out of here and that will be okay. Well, not really okay but it will be okay. We have a long way to go that first day, all the way to Tusculoosa, Alabama and with kids traveling with us, it will be a long day.

I will not be posting for probably the whole time we are away. So see you in a little over a week and happy summer to you.

I will explore those things I am thinking and mulling around when I return. Hope you return with me.

35 Years Today!

I was a teen in love. I was goo-goo-eyed over the tall handsome, blue eyed boy that was my friend in band. We laughed a lot. We kissed a lot! We even cried when we discussed the differences in our "religions." We were both cofc but he was from the background of non sunday school and I was just your regular cofc. We made decisions based on much prayer and communication. We worked through our understandings at the time to emerge stronger and more in tune with each other and our faiths. We found our own ground in the Lord, standing together.

My how time flies! It was only yesterday it seems that I was standing at the altar, singing with this young man who made my heart flutter at the slight look, or the touch of the hand on my arm. We were so in love.

The greatest thing, we are still in love. In fact that love has so matured and grown that even when we are angry, sad, irritable, we still love each other. There is so much security in our relationship. We still enjoy each other's company and I still get a flutter when he touches me. We share so much. Our lives, our hopes, our dreams and our hearts.

I sometimes worry that my larger body bothers him, but he assures me we are both different and have changed over the years. We are happy to be in the same room together, whether we are talking, watching TV, reading in bed, or sitting on the porch and watching it rain. We are in sync. We love each other. We play well together. We were made for each other!

Thank you God for the treasure in Tollie that you gave me 35 years ago. I pray I have polished and nurtured and loved this treasure and that you will give me more than 35 more years to love this man.

No Time Today

I don't have much time today. I have to go to work and publish our pictorial directory. It is ready to go to print and it will probably take a couple of hours to print, cut and bind it. But I think it will be well worth the effort to put pictures of "our family" in the hands of all the members. When you merge two churches together, there are two separate families and we need every tool available to get us to one family.

I have some thoughts rolling around and will probably spend some time on Monday exploring these thoughts and hope you come back then to explore with me.

Tomorrow is 35 years! Wow, that is a long time to be with the same man. I am madly in love with my best friend. That is the fun stuff.

Till Monday!

Communication

I have been concerned, over the past few weeks, for the health of my mate. Tollie has not felt well from a cough that has lasted a long time and wears him out. He has gone to the doctor and is on medication. Part of the problem is the medication tends to smooth him out.

Our daughter noticed and brought to my attention recently that Tollie seems to "fade" when in a crowd. I had noticed it but her mention seemed to magnify what I already felt.

So.....we had a talk last night. A short one, not serious, not deliberate, but just talking. I voiced my concerns and he listened and we discussed possible causes and problems. Did we find solutions? Not really. Only possible solutions.

So why do I feel better today? We connected by our discussion. And the connection was more important than answers to our questions. Communication does connect us.

I know I need to be better at communication with my brothers and sisters at church as well. I have so long isolated myself for fear of hurt. My old tapes play and I don't want to go down that road again so I gently go on my merry way and watch from the sidelines. But this is not enough! I have to get in the game and bring along side me those in my circle and communicate/connect. Words are very powerful.

Back Ache, Work

I have a back ache this morning and have to go to work. For me, this is a choice. I only work two days a week and sometimes the two days seem like two long weeks. We are getting ready to go on vacation and I am ready. I seem to take all day to get a few things done. I want to think it is the summer heat keeping me down, but I am not sure what is happening.

Could I be getting lazy? I hope not, but I sure need to a get a fire under me. I just seem to get the have to things done and then sometimes not even that. Hopefully, today will be filled with getting a lot done. So.....I guess I better get started.

Drought in Texas

We are having a drought. It has not rained in a week and the temp has been in the mid 90's and the humidity has been down as low as 40% for a whole day. That is really unusual for Southeast Texas. It started out being hot, mid 90's in June. That usually doesn't happen until the end of July and August. It makes us wonder what it will be like in August! Hotter!?! I sure pray we get some relief soon.

Have you ever had a drought in your spiritual life? A time when there seems to be a ceiling right over your head that prayers cannot penetrate. A time when prayers come few and far between. A time when others around you are smiling and enjoying life and all you have is a gray cloud right over your head, causing the downturn of your mouth. A "mood" that cannot be laughed away. A funk so funky, you wonder if it will ever get better.

I have been in a spiritual drought for several years. We had a wonderful family where we had worshipped for 20 years. It seems that "family" turned inward and no matter how hard we tried to fight it, we could not get past perceptions. Perception or impression is an attitude or understanding based on what is observed or thought........often without knowing facts. There were people who perceived we had a belief contrary to our lives. But their perception was real to them. They could not get past it and everything they said or did was filtered through this perception.

It happens with teens. It happens between husbands and wives. It happens in churches. A perception can be so strong as to accuse, destroy, or be libal against another person.

I have finally begun to emerge from my drought. Little by little, the rain is quenching the thirst. It has been in spurts, not a deluge of a storm so I cherish every minute of the sprinkles. I think I need to change my perception as well! I can't accuse others of filtering through their perceptions without realizing I have my own.

Will it be hot in August? You bet, but can I depend on it being hotter than now because my perception is that if it is already hot in June it will be hotter in August?

What are your perceptions that need to be changed?

Summer is Here!

Summer is certainly here and is unusally hot and dry in Beaumont. In fact, yesterday I noticed the clock I have outside in the back yard had a dial that read DRY. It was far removed from the humid point and very noticably different position than usual. I watered the yard all day long and each time I moved the water to a new location, it smelled like I remember in Lubbock when it would rain. We are DRY! Please, Lord, send rain.

I enjoy spring the best. I think one of the reasons I enjoy it so much is the newness of everything. The plants come out with new buds, the birds are busy making new families, and the weather is so pleasant, especially after a hard winter. I think the best part is the chance to make new again.

I am so thankful my Lord gives me the chance to make new again, every day. I am still enjoying the blogging and it is certainly summer because this morning every blog I checked that I normally read had nothing new to day. Everyone of them! So......that tells me everyone is enjoying the outdoors and vacationing and taking time off.

Praise God my brother-in-law was able to go to work yesterday and actually stayed until the afternoon. He is doing well. Thank you Lord for this encouraging time for them. I ask for more good days than bad. They have had enough bad.

Sunday, then Monday

Wow! That is one word to describe how Sunday went. I was a little nervous about my sis and her husband going to services with us for the first time since the merge. But I can say now that it was a good thing.

I am proud of what we are doing. I am assured, at least by them, that we seem to be doing things well. That always helps.

It was a very emotional service. The minister did the Daddy's song sermon. He did a great job. We were all okay until someone went forward for their wayward child. Then it began to happen. When I put my arm around my sis, she lost it and so did T. That is the first time I have seen or heard him cry for his lost son.

You see, his son is not lost in the deaths sense but in the lost spiritual sense. Their son, my nephew has chosen to live his life in contradiction to everything he was raised to believe. He has chosen to denounce his family and have not contact with them. My heart aches for my sis but my heart aches for lost D. I pray for him often and I need to pray for him more.

There were tears today, but there was a connection today. It was a great service.

Company has gone home today. We have laughed, cried and enjoyed our time and now we have to get back to a routine for another week. Have a great week! I will.

The Lord's Day

Sunday! The Lord's Day. The day we meet with our brothers and sisters in Christ and worship the heavenly father in a more dedicated and formal way. I say this as I am exploring the reason, the whys and wherefores of corporate worship.

I have concluded not to call the time worship time, as I am trying to make every momont of time my worship to God. I don't like to call it church, because people are the church, not a building. So I am trying to conclude in my own mind exactly what to call this time where we meet as a family. Family time! Hummmmm, has possibility.

This will be the first time my sis and her husband have gone to services with us since the merger. It will be interesting to hear feedback from an "outsider", an open but cofc outsider.

Will let you know how today goes.

Reading!

I am now reading a book by Cecil Hook, actually, he only put it together. The book is really written by Leroy Garrett and Carl Ketcherside. It is about "our" heritage in the cofc.

There are several things in this book that have spoken to me. The realization that the restoration movement was much like today in that there were opinions being stated as "scriptural" and people used their own beliefs and interpretations to judge others' standing with God. Nothing new under the sun! Yet, they pursued to change things. One statement Garrett makes concerning Thomas Campbell towards the end of chapter 2 is that Thomas set forth unity principles. "The church, he insisted, is by its very nature one, and cannot help but be one, if it be God's church." There is no truer statement and yet it seems to be hard to accomplish and learn. If only we could come to some understanding of this statement!

Another statement in chapter 3 which caught my eye was Campbell's thesis which stated, "private opinions are not to be made the basis of Christian communion." It readily conceded that there would be differences of opinion in interpreting the scriptures, and this would not be discouraged. "Opinions are private property, and a man was entitled to as many as he desired. But he was not to make his opinion a test of fellowship or make his own interpretations a means of judging others."

These two statements are large to me. This is the crux in my mind as to what is happening in the cofc today, which is turning people out rather than bringing them in. We must make certain it is God who decides who is in or out, not us. Ketcherside's mantra became "Wherever God has a child, I have a brother or sister." And when asked about accepting "brothers in error", he would reply, "That is the only kind of brothers I have!"

We are all sinners and we should all be searching. The minute I think I have arrived, I think I have failed. So come along with me on this journey down the searching path and I would love to hear what you think about these musings and other topics.

Down Time is Good!

With my sister and her husband here, we have had a lot of down time. We won't be going anywhere and we have to stay pretty calm and quiet. So.....we have sat and talked and talked and talked. It has been good. My sister and I have caught up on many things and that is a good thing.

I went this morning and picked more blueberries. When I arrived back home, T and C were sitting on the porch. C had just gotten up and come outside. It was a cool morning and we enjoyed staying out there for some time. I then came back in and made homemade blueberry muffins. I think we have one left! They were good!

The kids came over this afternoon, took naps and then the little girls went swimming. Later we had a lot of fun just talking and enjoying watching the girls play.

I think I will be ready to do something tomorrow and so we might go rent a movie. Of course, just being is a good thing!

And it is important to be with someone who has trouble being anymore. You see, my brother-in-law has some health issues and we have to think of what we do and how we do it to accomodate him. It is worth it, though and I will do that any time they want to come. They really came here to rest and get some relaxation. So.....that is what we are doing. Life is good.

Took The Test!

Well, I took the test as well. That is the spiritual/religious test out there on some of the blogs. I came back as a Methodist! That was a surprise. I was secondly emergent/post modern. That didn't surprise me. I guess I have just enough old teaching in me to keep stricter, but want the freedom from emergent! Who knows. I just know it was interesting to take and I didn't even know some of the persons it listed as important. I plan to look them up and check them out. Maybe they are important and I just didn't know it!?! Naaaaaaa~!

I am excited about my sister and her husband are coming for a visit. It will be good to visit and play and just be. It is too hot to do too much but we will have fun watching movies and talking and I hope my sis and I get some alone time. I think we will go pick more blueberries in the morning. If you read my blog you will know I am a blueberry fan. I have several bags in the freezer, but I go through them pretty often. They are so sweet and delicious in cereal. If they are frozen and you put them in the cereal, they keep your milk so cold and it is great! Anyway, I am happy they are coming. Pray for T as he has a hard time with travel.

I heard from "future" family again. It was good to hear from L and I want to write back again. It was good to hear that she is positive about the future as well. I think we both have the same "sense" and it will be fun to visit on line and get to know each other well.

I have to work today. I say have to because I only work two days a week. It is not much but it is surprising how dependent we have become on that little income. I guess it is true that you live on what you make. The more you make, the more you spend! I will be out for two weeks starting the end of June and it worries me some that we might get behind, but I thought yesterday, I just have to trust! I planned this vacation, I am going and having a good time and we will worry about the income later. Besides, I don't have much to do at work.

If you know of a good resource for Alzheimer's knowledge, let me know. My boss' wife is in the beginning of the last stages, I think, of Alzheimers. She is getting worse every day. I am suppose to help the household employees help her! I'm not real sure what I am suppose to do. I feel helpless. How do you stand there when your 78 year old boss comes to you and his eyes start to redden and he tells you she is now forgetting little things like setting the table! All I could say was "I'm so sorry". And I am. How do you fight a disease that allows you to forget how to do such simple things! It is mind boggling and very scary. So, I will go to work today and wonder exactly what I am suppose to do. But I think I will be spending a lot of time researching on how best to help him.

If you are interested in taking the spiritual/religious test, here is the link. Good luck and let me know what your results are! It could be fun to try other answers and see where you end up!
Take care, and live life to the fullest.

http://quizfarm.com/test.php?q_id=43870

Company coming!

I have told my children often not to assume anything. Assumptions can get you in trouble. I can think of so many times when I have been disappointed only because I made an assumption.

Specfically, I can remember going to my folks for vacation or a visit and making an assumption that certain things would happen. When these certain things did not happen or happened differently than I imagined, I was disappointed. I have learned over the years to not make assumptions. But I find I am still making assumptions!

I assumed in my mind the reason T & C were not coming! I assumed in my mind it would be best for them. Yet when C called yesterday, she was confused. She thought, or assumed, she had told me they were coming unless she called. I heard, or assumed, she didn't think they would be coming! Was this a lack of communication or what?!? Anyway, our plans for the weekend have changed again and we are expecting company. I am excited they are coming!

But this gets me to thinking/assuming? How many times have I taken scripture and made my own assumptions? Maybe a scripture or teaching I have heard all my life and make assumptions because of this! Is interpretation an assumption? Can I really interpret the mind of God? What do I do with what I read? Got me to thinking!

I pray that I make less assumptions about scripture and look at each reading with an ah ha experience.

Feeling Better!

It is amazing how being on antibiotics one day can make a hugh difference. I started them yesterday after visiting the endodontist. I have to have tooth surgery in July. Not looking forward to that, but want to keep the tooth.

Found a great quote on wade hodges blog this morning. ” we were betrayed into adoption of the fallacious philosophy that purity of doctrine can only be preserved by separation.” I had to read it several times before it made any sense, but I agree with it whole heartedly. I think it is part of the exclusivity problem we have found in our church life for a long time and are finally breaking out of. I want to break out of it anyway. My only problem in breaking out of the exclusivity problem is accepting too much. This has been a question on here before. How much can we accept without losing what we have? This is a problem for me and I am still struggling with it. I want to preserve what I need to, but accept all I can. There is a fine line and I know I will never have it perfected, but I want to keep trying.

May the God of peace bless you and yours today.

Medication not the Cure!

I have been put on new medication recently to control my cholesterol. It was too high my last visit, especially the bad cholesterol so they put me on some medication. At first, I didn't think too much about it, but today I am calling the PA. The medication has affected me in two very significant ways.

First, I am so tired. I just want to sleep. This is different than the depressed feeling I had several years ago. This is pure fatigue. If I do any work outside or even on my working days of Tuesday and Thursday, I come home and fall asleep in the chair. That is really unusual for me. For instance, I had a nap yesterday afternoon, a good one of at least an hour. Then went to bed at the usual time last night and slept all night. We were determined to walk this morning, that is last night anyway. This morning, I could not wake up. Tollie asked if was ready and I said sure and snored before getting it out. He finally got up to shower and dress and said he was ready to go, but I never heard him. He had to come over and shake me awake to kiss me good bye. This is not normal and I don't like it.

Second, I am so impatient with everything. I have come to be mellow and enjoy life and now I find myself getting impatient, especially with the g-girls. This is not acceptable. So, last night, I did not take my medication and I will not take any more. I will call the PA today and either try another medication or just not take medication for this problem. The cure was worse than the disease! I know now how my brother-in-law feels!

I also have to call the dentist because my tooth has flared up again. I think I am falling apart. We will try to walk this evening. It wasn't too bad last night, as far as the heat. It is dryer and that helps. I would rather walk everyday and try to control my cholesterol that way than taking the medication.

I believe today will be an expensive day! Bring out the checkbook.

Not much!

There is not much to write about this morning. I am getting ready for worship. I hate to say church. I think we have given the church a wrong impression to the outside world by calling worship services church. WE are the church, not the building, not the worship service. We are the church doing worship. But I believe the world believes the church is the building or organization where the worship takes place.

I have learned in the last couple of years that worship is not confined to what we do on Sunday mornings. This is the organized time for us to get together but our worship to God is what we do every minute of our lives. Sometimes it is worship to God and sometimes it is worship to our jobs, hobbies, sin, kids, another person, etc. worship is how we live and breathe and what we do every moment of our lives. Sunday morning is just our time to gather with other saints and share what our worship has been up to that time. So when I say I am going to worship, then I am wrong, also. What can we call Sunday morning? It is a worship time, but if I am worshipping all the time in what I do, then I need a different description for this time on Sunday morning. Maybe, just Sunday morning service.

Thanks for reading my ranting this morning. I am going to go get ready to go to meet with other saints and have a worship time at the building we own and see my brothers and sisters in Christ!

E-mails

Who ever thought e-mails could brighten up your day! They do though. I know when I heard from Holly, it really brightened my day. Just knowing someone else cared enough to spend some time reading what you have written and then to respond. That means a lot to me, anyway. Thank you, Holly. I hope to write to you periodically and become better acquainted.

I also received an e-mail from my daughter's boyfriend's mother! Get that?!? Anyway, I am looking forward to getting to know her through e-mails, since they live several states away. And when you are in the armpit of Texas it takes a while to get across this state, much less other states! So.....it will be fun to have new acquaintances.

Saturday has become a real down day for us. It seems to be the day where we can just enjoy doing what we enjoy doing. For me, it may mean sitting and watching some old movies and cross stitching, especially during the heat of the day. Tollie enjoys working on his computer and learning his new programs. We have learned to try to get the "have to" things done during the week and then have this down day. I think it started when he was doing the power point for Sunday and it would take most of the day, so we had to get things done during the week for him to have that time. Now that he doesn't have to do that anymore, since our merge, we have this day for ourselves. We plan to enjoy today and hope you have a great "down" day.

Ready for Vacation

I am ready for our vacation. It is not until July, but I realize I am ready today. We had thought some great friends of ours was coming today for several days but they had to postpone. Family was coming next weekend, but I don't see them coming. If T is feeling better, they will not want to chance him getting sick again, but if he is still so sick, they will not be able to come. So.....I don't see them coming.

Maybe I am just ready for a change. I have decided that I like change. I do better with change. There are some things that I like to stay the same every day, but for the most part, I like change. It is a good thing, because life seems to be ever changing.

I have the g-girls with me today. Mom and dad are working, mom on Sunday class stuff and dad at the youth stuff. They are suppose to be taking a nap while I am typing this, but I can hear them in their talking. Guess I will need to go and get them to be quiet.

They are so cute! As I tell them to be quiet, they just smile, knowing that their Piggy loves them and will not get on them too much! I have gotten on them more lately, because my patience has been waning lately. Not sure why, but I have about decided it is a new medication I started not long ago. It is the only thing that is different. I do love having them here. They are great to have hugs and play. They love to play and they love to be here. What more could I ask?

Not much to say today, but I feel compelled to type something and stay with this blogging. I have such bad discipline in so many areas of my life, I would like to think I could stay with something!

I did read a quote from Leory Garrett or some other person who wrote in to the editor at Christian Chronicle. We are united in Christ, not by agreement on opinions or methods. It is a Person that unites us, not theories or theology about the Person. I thought it summed up my thinking in the last few weeks.

There is a lot of great stuff to be found on the blogs and the internet. Good Stuff!

Interesting Stuff!

I start my day by reading other blogs. It is interesting to me that today there seems to a thread in several of them of faith versus culture.

I responded to one blog and will be interested to see how others respond. That is what I like about this blogging, it gives me an opportunity to respond and then see how others respond and even sometimes respond to me. Like I said before, it helps me feel connected.

I have not felt connected to much in the past. After our struggle through a church split, finding our way to a new church, merging with another church......wow, no wonder I have been disconnected! But I feel better these days and I want to continue my search to find that peace that comes from believing that what you are doing is making a difference in other people's lives and that difference is Jesus!

Back to the faith versus culture, it is being questioned on one blog as to how we have been so lucky to be in the right place at the right time to have the right interpretation of the scriptures. And if that is so, why me? I certainly don't deserve this. So, why me?

This was my response to the Cope blog:

How can I condemn someone who is only doing what I have done? That is they are only going by what they know ~ what they were brought up to believe. And even when I told my kids they must make their faith their own, they have stayed within the bounds of what we taught. So......I am like you, were we just really lucky or what?

To go along with that, then you can only be a Christian if you live in the Bible belt states?!? At least that would be the conclusion, huh? I know, in the past, I have wondered how people in other countries, who have not been as lucky as me, go to heaven? Afterall, if they have not had the correct interpretation of the scriptures, like me, then how in the world are they going to get there?

My conclusion has come for me to do the best I can in my daily walk, taking Christ to others as I go and telling them what Jesus has done for me. (Notice I didn't say what Jesus can do for them!) It is then up to them to see what Jesus can do for them. This allows God to determine who is in or out, not me. The only struggle that leaves me with is am I becoming too accepting of anything!?!

And that is my biggest question of the day ~ am I becoming too accepting?


I want to make an apology to my Mindy. I am learning about this blogging and I never mean to hurt or say something to hurt.